Wednesday, February 10, 2016

options

Well it happened, the high school option sheet went back to school with the oldest. In less than a year I will be the mother of a kid in high school. Doesn't really feel like that and yet it does all at the same time. Weird how that happens. I feel like this is a big leap in my parenting career. This is where the separation truly begins, little bit by little bit. She is on her way to becoming the person she will be. Of course that has been true since the day she was born. That is what all this parenting stuff has been for, right?

I feel like this is where it goes into the beta test. This is where we start to figure out if all those things I have tried to instill in her stick. Will she make the best decisions for her when I am not around? Will they be based on the big life lessons I tried to give her. Has she been listening to me the past 13 years? Gosh I hope so.

Tuesday, February 02, 2016

not enough time in the day

These days I seem to have more fun stuff to do then there are hours in the day. It is not a bad problem to have, really. The kids are older and maybe don't need the near constant hands on care that they did as infants/toddlers, but they need my time in other ways like homework I can just barely understand. What the heck is this new math they are doing anyway?

I have said before that life would be grand if I could figure out how to go without sleep. Ha! As if crawling into my bed at the end of the day isn't a treat in itself, but if I could somehow figure out how to gain myself a few extra hours in the day I could spend them on...

Catching up on Netflix, Suits! The Mindy Project! Brooklyn 99! Nashville. Friday Night Lights. The Office. Greys and about a million documentaries.

Colouring, that octopus is never going to get finished at this rate.

Reading. All The Light We Cannot See is a beautiful book that needs quiet and a mug of tea to truly be appreciated.

Plants vs Zombies because of course. Can't miss out on the pinata party.

Blogging!

And finally more time for drinks with friends!

What would you spend your extra hours on if you had them?

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

#BellLetsTalk

I got a text from someone very dear to me, today of all days..... and I hope she won't mind me sharing it.... that read - Just wanted to let you know how very proud I am to have seen you become the confident expressive mature loving person I sat with last night. Thinking back to the quiet expressionless girl I first knew but liked and wanted to get to know. You are a gift.

Cue the weepy eyes. I cannot begin to tell you and I certainly didn't adequately tell her what a gift those words were to my soul. If you had told the Shannon she's talking about that this is the Shannon she would become, well she probably would have laughed in your face. It would have seemed impossible. Insurmountable. I am one of the lucky ones. Somehow I got here, teeny tiny step by teeny tiny step. I wish I could say that I did this, this one thing and everything magically fell into place, but doesn't work like that. It was a million little things.

It was finding the right people at the right time. It was learning to say no, if that was the best thing for me and not yes because it might be the best thing for someone else. It was discovering that fine line between empathy and being a sucker. It was really listening to people tell me who they were. It was learning to value my own opinion. It was finding my voice and not being afraid to use it. It was learning to disagree with grace. It was learning to let go of the things that didn't bring peace, love or happiness. It was becoming a Mom. It was being a partner. A sister. A friend. It was learning to listen. It was deciding to be happy. It was a million more things both known and unknown.

I making it sound far easier than it is, I think. This is a marathon, not a sprint and it's fluid. I can see it even in my youngest. Things are better as well as different with her. Triggers change, but she works hard not to let the worries win. We talk a lot, her and I. It helps us both I think. Putting tools to cope and manage in her hands only benefits us both. I am ridiculously proud of that kid's grit. I wish I'd had half as much when I was her age.

For those who are struggling, in any measure, I wish you peace and understanding.

Much love.





































































































































































 

Monday, January 11, 2016

words from the fridge - inspire

The Back Story: On the side of our fridge there can be found a saying that speaks to me. I change it out whenever the mood strikes me and leave it for the kids to discover. Usually they do at dinner time and it always leads to a conversation about how it relates to each of us and how we interpret the meaning. They are interesting and fun convos indeed.


Currently:


!cid_20151207_183055



This one I liked. How many people do you have in your life who inspire you and yet you never stop and say hey, you make me want to be better. I mean is there a bigger compliment you can give some one? As we discussed this at the dinner table it was really interesting to hear who the girls thought inspired me. They had clued into a couple of people that I hadn't even realized were inspiring to me. It was equally interesting to hear who they felt inspired by.

Who is inspiring you these days?

Sunday, January 10, 2016

sunday randoms

I am working on a project that is totally out of my wheelhouse. So one minute I think it's going great and the next, I'm all like what in the hell am I actually doing? I should just commit to the most obvious path to the finish line and make life easier on myself. Ugh. Wish me luck.... or offer to come and do it for me. Either is good.

This weekend has been one of me getting less done than I expected to. See paragraph one, many hours wasted walking around in figurative circles.

Maya had me playing Super Mario Bros with her this weekend. She actually calls if Bros. instead of Brothers, so that is super cute, but apparently I am an old lady who can't play video games anymore even though I devoted many hours to the completion of Yoshi's Island back in my younger days. Luckily for me once we move onto the compound TC has promised to be the "Video Game" mom while I shall be the "Cookie Baking" mom. Come on powerball!

The powerball! How crazy is that? How do you even comprehend that kind of money? Maya nd I were checking out floor plans for the Dream House we will build when we win even though we are Canadian and don't even have a ticket. We did have a ticket for the LottoMax though, didn't win, so the compound dream continues to be on hold. Which isn't helping TC or I, at all.

Tapping this out early because.... Golden Globes! Ricky Gervais! Oh my gosh I can't even wait! I need to be free and clear of impossible projects, laundry, lunches and showers so I can glue my butt to the couch at 7pm. Like I am going to miss the red carpet. Ha!

The halls have finally been undecked here. It's never as much fun putting it away as it is putting it up.

We watched Inside Out twice and we may or may not have done the ugly cry both times we watched it.

I also managed to deal with my deactivated bank card and get NetFlix back up and running, so I adulted the crap out of Friday anyway.

How was your weekend?

Sunday, January 03, 2016

suday randoms

Well that is it.... Christmas 2015 is a wrap. Back to work and school tomorrow. As in years past I took this week off to be with the kids. We had a great week, perhaps a tad busier than our usual week of sloth, but we still managed to squeeze in plenty of jammie days and more than our fair share of Big Bang Theory episodes.

We spent a few days north, where I claimed my crown as best Auntie ever.... like there was ever any doubt! We drank some wine, played some cards and enjoyed good food.

Mike and I binged watch Making a Murderer like it was our job. Our apologies to The Mindy Project, we'll be back soon promise. It's just everyone is talking about Steven Avery. Having seen the entire thing, I can only say wow. Just wow. Just an awful horrible story on so many levels.

!cid_20151230_142834


We sent a day shooting pictures at an open house at a dairy farm. We froze our toes off, but we had a blast shooting with honest to goodness DSLR cameras. I had forgotten how much fun it was to use a real camera. Don't get me wrong I love the camera on my phone, but it isn't quite the same.

!cid_20151230_154025


Maya even joined in singing Christmas carols at the open house, which likely had more to do with the propane heater they had than any real desire to entertain the masses, but whatever.

We were all wonderfully spoiled, but the greatest gift was a week and a half of laziness and time with family.

So looking forward to more wonderful in 2016!

Thursday, December 31, 2015

farewell 2015

To my mind the measure of a successful year is one with more laughs than tears, so in that regard I have to call 2015 a success. I had labeled this the year of MORE and I have spent the past week pondering on how I feel about that..... short answer... I don't know. I really don't. I made a lot of really big declarations about laundry (HA! Laundry, who are we kidding?) and blogging and running. So maybe it was less in some areas, but it was definitely more in others.

I was happy to have more lazy evenings with friends. Glasses of wine, laughs, and meandering conversations. It cannot be understated what bright spots those evenings were this year. I am thankful for each and every one of you, probably more than you realize. Double date nights. Text messages. Listening ears. New friends. Deepening relationships. Hugs. Laughs. Understanding. Y'all know who you are, what you did and what it meant to us. Much love and thanks.

There was more time spent with the World's Cutest Nephew and his awesome parents. That is a gift I never tire of. More good food, good wine and laughs to go along with.

More travel for the kids. A gift for both them and us. Time with grandparents..... priceless.

Volunteering opportunities. Nights of cards. Sunday Dinners with beautiful friends. More balance. More down time. More NetFlix. More Mindy Project. Lisa Genova. Documentaries.

So farewell to 2015, you were a beautiful gift in so many ways, cheers to 2016, lets see what you shall bring.