my running buddy

It's no secret that I've been on the look out for a running partner, pretty much since I started running. I know lots of people that run, but finding the ideal running partner is not as easy as it may seem because there are a lot of factors at play. I have running friends who I have to rule out because of speed or stride or geography and then finally someone approached me. They wanted to start running, would I do the couch to 5k with them? I couldn't say yes fast enough.

She is my perfect match in stride and speed. Well actually she's a titch faster than me which makes me faster, so win win win. This afternoon we wrapped up the first week of running and she's totally in love with it. Which yay for me and her!!

Since she's just starting out I've loaned her some of my running gear, old race shirts, a pair of compression capris and such, but what she needed was new running shoes.

And here's where I take a moment to tell you how fabulous my brother is. Those who know me know I think the absolute world of him. He's been tremendously encouraging to me since I began running, sending me a care package of technical t-shirts and socks to get me going way back in the early days before I had any kind of running paraphernalia. He really is the best brother ever.

So today a box arrived that contained a beautiful new pair of running shoes to help out and more importantly encourage my new running buddy....



because he is also the best Uncle ever.

And yes The Abster is my new running buddy. It's still early days, but for the moment she is loving it. The pretty new Pearl Izumis are helping to seal the deal, for sure, but it's also a great time for us to be doing this. We head out for a run and it's just the two of us. No distractions, no Dads, no little sisters, just time for her and I. And that's good. So if your friends with Abby on facebook feel free to shoot some encouraging words her way as we work our way through the next seven weeks of the program. So proud of that kid.

i'm finding my way

I'm going to give it to you straight! I got lazy. Sure I could also tell you how busy things have been. How I keep piling more and more work on myself, but as they say.... If you really want to do something you'll find a way. If you don't you'll find an excuse. Truth!

Here's what I stopped doing, I stopped making my after work run a priority. I got caught up in the work I was doing and tricked myself into believing that those emails wouldn't wait another 45 minutes. That the paper work and the looming project deadlines couldn't handle me stepping away for 45 minutes. I'd swear to myself that I would go out tomorrow. Tomorrow would come and I'd be back at my computer dealing with questions from trucking companies, organizing volunteers, sorting silent auction items and on it goes.

It's a slippery slope, isn't it? Once you let one thing slide it's so easy for the rest to follow and I did that. I let the rest follow because on top of all the volunteer projects I had going this year and they were big ones, we're talking thousands upon thousands of dollars I still had that full time job of mine to go to and riding lessons and meetings and then there was the laundry and homework and meals to cook. So I also got lazy with my food and trust me when I say it was very easy to do.

The fact of the matter is I do all the laundry, almost all of the cooking, I organize everyone else's schedules, I fill out all the trip forms and various other school paper work, I check the backpacks and make sure the homework gets done. Most of the time I do the tucking in and the story reading. And you know what..... it's my pleasure to do so. This family is without a doubt my greatest work and taking care of them.... acts of service....that is my love language.

At Christmas time of last year I had lost 40 lbs and it took a lot of hard work to get there, so you have no idea how angry I am at myself for gaining 22lbs of it back. That I didn't let those emails wait for another 45 minutes. That I didn't get Abby to fold some towels. That I didn't push the school papers in front of Mike to fill out. That I didn't do all of that and more so I could slip out the door for 45 minutes and keep myself on track. I should mention that it's not an issue of nobody wanting to help me, but rather an issue of me just doing it all. Acts of service... it's what I do.

So I'm back... no more goofing around. If you're friends with me on facebook then you know I've been out running this week. Oh, but that makes me angry too because I've lost so much of my speed and lung capacity and strength. This time around I'm losing with a friend. We aren't geographically close so we aren't working out together, but we're challenging each other and checking in... making sure we're staying with it. We've got our first week behind us and I'm back down 3.4lbs so that's pretty exciting. And I'm letting the emails wait and Mike's cleaning the kitchen. The homework seems to be getting done and the girls have been getting to bed okay every night.

I had been pretty vocal about my running/weight loss/healthy living journey and then I just got quiet..... always a good sign things are going sideways, by the by....... because failure is not really something anybody likes to broadcast to the world, but we probably should because things aren't always easy and we aren't always perfect and that's okay. I have the opportunity to shake myself off and get back at it. You should probably expect the updates to start back up and if you don't hear anything please feel free to ask me what in the hell I am doing and I'll just be over here trying to find my way.

colours of hope

Ever since seeing the pictures of the Colour Run I have been jonesing for the chance to participate in one myself. Well it took a while for one to finally come to my area, but it did. Today was the big day, the Colours of Hope for the Canadian Cancer Society which if you've spent any time here at all you know is a cause and organization very near and dear to my heart. So, no doubt I was going to participate and lucky for me ML wanted to come along!



ML's new year's resolution was to complete the couch to 5k program and run a 5k race. We both thought this would be a great one for her first race. Oops! We may have been a bit off on that one. Don't get me wrong, the event is fun. Every km they douse with a different colour of cornstarch as you run through the colour station.



My apologies for the blurriness, my phone was in a ziploc bag to protect it from the cornstarch which gets everywhere by the by. So that was fun, unless you weren't paying attention and ate some. That was a little gross. The course though.... oh my goodness it was a bit of a monster for a first time racer. Heck it was a bit of a monster for me and by a bit I mean it was a lot of a monster. It was very hilly and thanks to the endless rain it was also muddy and very slippery in a lot of spots because the whole thing was out on the trail. There's actually another colour run, Colour Me Rad, in the same location in two weeks, but they're using the roads in the park instead of the trail so that one likely would have been better for her. Unfortunately CMR didn't do as good a job at promoting it's event since we heard about the Colours of Hope, but not CMR.



It took us a while to pick our way through the course, but we still had a great time. I'm just thankful it didn't scare her off races forever, but she says she's game to do the Santa Shuffle so ya for running buddies!! I'm so proud of ML, I know how much work it is both mentally and physically to get to a point where you think you can run a race and she did amazeballs in not so great circumstances. Can't wait for the next one xo

my sweet abby girl

So for the second time this school year I found myself blinking back tears and swallowing past the lump in my throat while talking to Abby's teacher. The first time was just before Christmas, rather than traditional gifts we made a donation on the teacher's behalf to our local Children's Hospital. I wrote a letter explaining the girls health issues at birth and what a big part our local hospital had played in getting them well. Both girls' teachers approached me to thank us for such a thoughtful gift while I attempted, with poor results, to keep from getting too weepy.

Fast forward a few months and I find myself chatting with Abby's teacher...

Him: Abby tells me you started running.
Me: Yes, I did. About a year ago.
Him: And you've run some races.
Me: I have, yes. Just some 5k's.
Him: She tells me. Always with a big smile on her face. She's very proud of you.

Cue the blubbering mess. Kinda. I think I held myself together fairly well or at the very least he was kind enough to pretend not to notice. I wonder, sometimes.... am I doing this right? Am I a good role model? Are they paying attention? Nice to know they may just be....

one year

Happy anniversary to me. It's been a year since I started running "seriously". Really? Only a year? It seems like it's been way longer then that. In that time I've gone from not being able to run to the mailbox, to running 5k and completing 4 races. I'm still kind of surprised at that. Who knew there was a sport out there I'd actually enjoy competing in...... and yes I am using competing loosely here. Don't worry first placers, there's not a chance I will challenge you for the win. Hell I'm happy to get some hang time with my favourite running peeps (Kim!! and sometimes KK!!), score a new shirt and not come in last.



Running has been tough this winter. Treadmill runs suck ass! I am happy that I didn't lose too much of my mad skillz, I ran the Around the Bay 5k in the same time I ran the Road to Hope last November. What's on tap for the rest of the year? Well I'm not quite sure. Kim's invited/challenged me to join her in running a 10k she's signed up for and I'm very very tempted. Hell, I'll probably end up doing it. It's not until November so lots of time to train. My goal is to run most of it and finish in less than one hour and fifty minutes. No, I haven't spent much time thinking about it at all, why do you ask? Pretty great way to wrap up the year of AWESOME, right? Thanks KK for pointing that out! 10k here I come!

to the bay

The Around the Bay road race is as old as the hills. Older then the Boston Marathon, even. I wasn't crazy enough to run the 30k around the bay, but I did feel confident enough to tackle the 5k to the bay and back. Spoiler alert....... I was over confident. You see it's been a kind of miserable winter here. A miserable never ending winter. It's been too icy or just too darn frigid for running outside. I gave the ole college try a time or three, but it really was hard getting out there. So treadmill running it's been. I read recently in my running magazine that you can't really train for a road race on a treadmill and I am here to tell you they are 100% right. Gosh my legs are sore today!

So I wasn't at my best. I have a bit of a cold, but even still yesterday was pretty much dipped in awesome sauce. It's been a few months since I ran a race and just before I found myself wondering why I was even running it. I'm not competitive by nature, I have no chance of winning... why was I running a race?



Then I got there. Got all bibbed up....



and I remembered, because it's freakin' amazing. Yes it is. It's fun, so much fun. I mean you're surrounded by thousands of people that share the same love so there's a little bit of a party atmosphere. Then you're off and the crowd thins out and suddenly I'm just running with one of my most favouritest people in this world. I always run alone, which I love as well. Gives me time to clear my mind, recharge and come back ready to take on the homework, dinner, tidy up, refereeing arguments and all that fun stuff, but it's pretty darn fun to run with Kim. Usually she insists I go ahead and not let her hold me back, but I was not at the top of my game and she pushed me right through to the end, which I greatly appreciated.



That's her right there telling me... you can do it, don't stop running now, we're almost finished.... and so on. She's awesome! Although I may have not believed her right at that moment because my lungs were on fire. Damn cold! It's not even a really bad cold, but boy could I feel it when I was running.



But I did make it to the end. You should see the event pictures from the finish line.... Kim looks happy and great and I look like I'm going to die! I think I might buy a copy of it.



I will never tire and I will never be unemotional about seeing my family at the finish line. I hope they know how much it means to me that they take the time out to be there. I truly love it. And not just because they bring me flowers :) On an unrelated note... look how tall my kid is. When the heck did this happen? This growing up shit has to stop!

So the stats... well we ran it in 44:21.... six minutes slower than my best time. I finished 1651 out of 2100+ runners. 968 out of 1342 women. and 111 out of 149 in my age class. More importantly I was out there and that's a win right there. Where do I sign up for the next one.

Also.....



I have the best family ever. This is the card that was with my flowers. Year of AWESOME for sure! Love that they get me!

tough going

Well nobody said this eating right, healthy lifestyle, losing weight stuff would be easy and it is so not easy right now. It was ridiculously easy to get off track over the holidays. There was a lot of sitting around and eating. A lot.

Now it's just hard to get back in the swing of things. I don't know if it's because it gets dark so early or what, but I have a hard time finding time to run. The kids are doing better with our new homework routine, but it requires a lot of my time. Time I used to spend running. So finding that balance has been hard. Plus treadmill runs are sooooo boring. I don't mind walking on the treadmill or interval training, but I'm really afraid if I don't get some 5k runs in I'm just going to forget how to do it. Which is totally crazy, but still......

I guess I'm just a bit stuck at the moment and I'm not liking it very much at all.

the dreaded plateau

Well I've been pretty quiet about the running/weight loss etc around these parts these days and there's a reason for that. It's not going all that well at the moment. I have hit a plateau. Big only frowny face. I seem to be yo-yoing the same couple of pounds up and down. It sucks ass, pretty much.

I made no secret about being nervous approaching the colder months. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to run through the winter. Life is funny in many ways and I ended up with a treadmill. Turns out I really hate running on the treadmill. Good news though, I love interval training on the treadmill and it shows, I shaved five minutes off my best time when I ran in the Santa Shuffle earlier this month (such a fun race, can't wait to run it again next year!). I have not been getting outside for enough runs the past couple of weeks. As much as I love running on the trail near my house, it's not going to be great for winter running. The trail is mainly in the middle of wide open fields, so it's extra brrr-y out there, also extra windy. This past weekend I mapped out a 1k loop around my neighbourhood with the plan to run some laps. I'm getting home from work a little bit later these days and it's getting darker earlier, so at least this way I can run under the streetlights if need be.

Plus it's the holiday season so there have been parties and get togethers and candy and treats and all that yummy tempting stuff and we're just getting started! Sigh. So, it's been a bit of a rocky transition, but I've been on two runs already this week using my new route and it's pretty awesome. Now I just have to get back on track with the water and hope that I can get through the holiday season without doing too much damage. Fingers crossed.

santa shuffle

You guys!! Today was awesome. I mean I kind of had a feeling it was going to be awesome, but then it was even more awesome then I was anticipating. My life is pretty great and I have some very special people in it. I am so incredibly lucky.

My sweet cousin/dear friend Kim, who I did my last race with was planning on running in the Santa Shuffle, so I decided to join her. Then I convinced my SIL, KK, to join me as well. Then Abby got a hold of the idea and decided she'd like to try the 1K, but not by herself,  a quick phone call to ML remedied that problem and ML was joining us too.



Don't you love the snow? It actually ended up being a beautiful day for a run, but it was a little slippy getting out of the parking lot. Oh and guess who forget she had vents in the bottoms of her running shoes until she ran through the slush and soaked her feet... yep, this chick.



If you know ML, you know she never does anything by little bits. A quick trip to the dollar store had them outfitted in Elf appropriate garb. Oh and she made them a play list full of One Direction and Christmas music. She's a keeper that one!



This race was pretty low key compared to the other two races I've been in. So low key, that I actually missed the start of the Elf Walk, even though I was standing right there, hopping around trying to warm up. I didn't miss the finish though. ML & Abby crossed the line 4th & 5th.



And got the medals to prove it!



This little chick was a great cheerleader, but she was also pretty pissed at me. It never occurred to me that she would want to walk in the 1k, so I told her a little fib and said she need to be 7 to participate. You know what happened next, right? The kid that crossed the finish line third was about 3 and yes, Maya noticed. Oops. I made it up to her, by letting her have the Lindt advent calendar that came in my race package. I may have shed a little tear over that one.

Then it was our turn. This was KK's first race. She runs her 5k a couple minutes faster than me on a normal, so I told her not to let me hold her up, the same as Kim had told me. We all started together, but then KK was gone like a shot. I ran half the race looking at her back, but then she turned it on and I didn't see her again until the finish line.... and she was so nervous about it. She's a total rockstar that one!



She finished 10 minutes faster than her best time! Ten! So proud of that chick!!



When I rounded that last corner.... oh my. There they were... my family, at the finish line, cheering me on. I don't know that I will ever not be emotional at that moment. There is nobody in the world richer then me right then and I know. I so know it.

This wasn't a chipped race, but they did have a guy at the finish line telling you your time as you crossed the line. I crossed the finish line and headed towards my peeps and the guy said 38:14. I may have stopped turned and screeched at him... WHAT?! Then I turned back to Mike and said, did he just say 38?! He did! Holy shit. My previous best time was 43:59. I beat my best time by 5 minutes! I still can't believe it.



Then it was time for medals and another picture or two because, wow, we all accomplished something really special!

break in routine

Well lest you think it's all rainbows and unicorns over here... it is not. I mean sure things are really great in a lot of ways, but there is this one thing..... my kids. Oh God love them, they have been a handful lately. Every night it's the same thing... fighting, arguing and complaining over doing homework, tidying up, clearing the table... you know usual everyday life kind of shit and I am so so so over it. Maya is actually the biggest thorn in my side, Abby is a great little helper, but she gets tired of doing everything all of the time and that's where she starts whining. I don't blame her, but even still.... not what I want to listen to.

There was been an increase in the yelling around here, mostly from me. I'm tired of that too. It's not effective in any way, shape, or form, but I find myself resorting to that more and more. Enough. We had a talk, over dinner one night about what we could all do to make things go smoother and nobody had any real answers, but I managed to come up with something anyway.

When the kids get off the bus I am waiting for them. I have a snack ready to go and I am checking my email at the kitchen table. I check their bags for notes, check Abby's teacher's website for homework and they get started on their homework, if they have no assigned homework, then they read at the table and have their snacks. All that taken care of it's on to tidying while I get dinner started. The expectation is all of this is done before they get to do anything else like TV, computer, toys, friends etc.

So far it's working out pretty good. By the end of the week, the kids had fallen right into the routine and needed no prompting to get to the table and get going. There has been a steady decrease in (my) yelling and this is likely the longest the house has remained "tidy", a term I am using loosely here.

But...... But.....

I did not get a chance to run at all this week. Typically I run as soon as I get home from work, before the kids get off the bus. By the time I get back they've been home 30 minutes and at that point I've lost them. So it was a great week for the family and Shanny the Mom, maybe not so great for Shanny the runner. My hope is now that we have a routine established, Mike will be able to step in and over see homework on my run days.

So, a week with no running... don't get me wrong, the break was nice. Especially with the colder weather here, but it was too easy to skip and that makes me nervous. It's taken me a long time to get to here and I can see how easy it is to get off track and it's scary. So here's hoping for a better week. A week with less yelling and more running.

road2hope 5k

I consider myself lucky that I not only get to have Kim in my life, but also in my family. If we're being technical she's actually Mike's cousin, but I also consider her a very dear friend. When Abby was tiny she used to live right around the corner from us. On more than one occasion I would head out for a walk and after a long while Mike would come and find me having tea in her kitchen amongst the lovely chaos that four kids bring. Boy I miss those days, as I know she does. Now she lives two towns over and the visits are few and far between. Frowny face.

We got a chance to catch up at Grandma Linda's retirement party and as it turns out she's also been out there running/power walking and signing up for races. She had a race coming up and I was pretty ambivalent about doing more, but the opportunity to spend a morning with her was incredibly tempting. So I went right home and signed up too, before I had a chance to talk myself out of it.



So, my second race... how was it? In a word, overwhelming. The first race I was in had 169 runners in it. This race had 854, just in my race. There was a kids 1k just prior to us and a 10k just after us. There were hundreds upon hundreds of people in the park. I am incredibly grateful I was with Kim, who is a bit of a veteran and had run this race before. I would have been lost without her.



Once we started running I knew what to do, though so the mild panic was short lived. I did get a bit verklempt when I crossed the starting mat. Just for a moment, with 800+ people running around you you really need to keep your head in the game. The race route is gorgeous. After a week of rain it was nice to see the sun peeking out and the view across the lake was clear all the way to Toronto. Kim and I got separated for about a kilometre or so, but we caught back up near the 2k mark and finished out the race together.



Kim ended up making a pretty great running partner. I think we both adjusted our paces slightly to suit the other, but nothing too drastic. Regardless of my finishing time, it was the fastest run I've ever done. The kilometres just flew by. Kim and I have always been able to discuss everything and nothing and apparently being in a race does nothing to discourage that. She did stress multiple times that I was not to let her hold me back, but I was happy to stick with her and enjoy the experience. Sharing a run with someone is new to me. I mean Dave and I did, but we're so unmatched it wasn't as easy as it was running with Kim. No disrespect to Daver, I totally love that he wanted to run with me. Kim and I just fit a bit better.



How was my time? Pretty awesome actually. My gun time, which I found out is the time it takes you to run the race from when the gun goes off, was 44:25. My chip time, which is the time it takes you to run the race from when you cross the start line was 43:59. Which ever number you'd like to look at represents my fastest time yet and Kim beat her last year's time by 3 minutes.



Not a great picture, but that's Kim and I hugging as we crossed the finish line, 703 and 704 out of 854 runners. A great finish to a great race.



I've mentioned before I am not a competitive person and I wasn't sure whether signing up for races was something I had any real interest in doing, but this race I really loved. It probably had a lot to do with the company I was keeping and Kim's already signed up for two more races.... can you see where this is going? Yep, I think I can too. Santa Shuffle, here I come!

funny thing happened while i was running

So I went for a run with my brother this weekend. They just came down for the day to celebrate Granny's birthday and he thought it would be cool if he brought his running shoes. I actually had no plans to run that day, but such an opportunity rarely comes available so I spandexed up and off we went.



So that's my brother... dude is lean. Know why? Because he's a pretty hardcore road cyclist. Meaning he routinely hits the bike for ridiculously long rides and he doesn't just ride, in his words, he works effin' hard at it. He races, a lot. All this to say he's an athlete, but not a runner. Oh no, running is not something he loves, but he was willing to go out with me because, I think, he's pretty stoked about my transformation from couch potato to runner.

I warned him I was a slow runner and I am still at this point. I have not quite two dozen 5k runs under my belt and I'd never run with anyone else before. We were mismatched from the start. Dave is taller than me, so he has a longer stride. He's in better shape than me and even though he's not a runner, he still easily outpaced me without getting winded while I was dying by the time we got back. In the interest of full disclosure there were times he was walking, while I ran... and keeping pace with me. Oh my.  Sounds like it had all the makings of a discouraging run, huh? It wasn't, it was the exact opposite.

As always, I am my own worst enemy when it comes to running. Obviously we chatted as we ran... Dave more easily them me, so he did most of the talking and I did most of the listening, but he said plenty I needed to hear.

The best things he said...

"That's a year away." When I told him I didn't want to be 11th from last in the Cactus Fest 5k next year. I don't need to drop my time down 15 minutes this week. There's lots of time train my way to a quicker finishing time. I don't need to be pushing myself at a pace I cannot sustain for 5k. It only makes for a crummy and discouraging run.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, you're already ahead of half the population." As I made excuses and apologies for not being able to keep up to his pace. It's true, so true and I had forgotten that. I'm only racing against myself out there. I'm running because I love it and it's good for me. It doesn't matter if I run it fast or slow, nobody is keeping track, but me. Any run is better than no run. I'm not training for a marathon or the Olympics.

So, my next run I went back to basics. I brought back my warm up walk, ran at a steady comfortable pace picking up the pace at certain intervals and you know what... it was my best run ever. I finished it over a minute off my race pace and I felt great. Thanks Daver. xo

done

Well today was race day! My goals for today was to run my best time and not be last and I am happy to say I accomplished both, but today was so much more than that.

I slept well the night before, I wasn't sure if I would. I wasn't sure when the anxiety was going to set in because, although I hadn't had any yet, I was still anticipating it showing up. It did not. I slept well and was up early to get ready.



Headed to the park I was tweeting and just feeling overwhelmed from the good wishes I'd already received. I was feeling a titch anxious just about getting there and getting my kit and getting ready to go. I'd never done any of that stuff before, but turns out it was super easy to do. Mike and the kids helped me pin my bib on and affix my timing chip. My Mom found us and then it was time for hugs and photos before heading to the start line.







One last wave as I head off. This was a big moment for me. It was really all I could do to keep myself together. The fact that I was here was huge. I thought about my girl The MP and how ages ago she said I should go running with her and I kept telling her, nah, I'm not a runner. She thought I could do it long before I ever imagined I could even try. I could see the girls, Mike and my Mom, but I didn't dare look in their direction for too long. I wondered about the other runners around me and wondered if this event was a huge for them as it was for me.



Waiting for the start, that's when the anxiety started rolling over me. I couldn't remember all the instructions they had announced. Then BANG it was time to go. I struggled the first little bit to keep everything in check. A friend said I was very focused and I was.... on keeping myself together. I had a hard time with the cheering spectators, being the focus of attention is not my thing. One guy called out my bib number and some encouraging things, it was lovely and overwhelming at the same time. I pushed myself to be gracious and thank folks for their encouragement.



Once I was out of the park and the spectators were minimal it was more like a regular Sunday run, just me and my ipod. I was very afraid I was in last place. I mean it felt like it was. My pace felt good, but I was definitely towards the back of the pack, way at the back. It was a nice run though. My legs were good, my knee didn't bother me and before I knew it I was headed back into the park.



That's me way over there on the other side of the bench. This was the toughest bit for me. You see, I have been an incredible cheerleader for many people. I've sat on the sidelines of many racing venues cheering on my brother, I'm fairly certain this is the first time I've been the one with people on the sidelines cheering for me. Wow. The thought was really too much to take in.



And I cried as I crossed the finish line to this, my guy and my babies with flowers and signs. We were all electronically challenged today, my camera's batteries died, Mom accidentally locked hers so there isn't a shot of me crossing the line, but still I did. Trust me:) I think Grandma Linda got some, but I haven't seen them yet.



So would I do it again? Yes, I think so. I've already looked at other races online, but I can't see myself being really hardcore about it. I really liked this race and plan on running again next year. There's one or two other local ones I have my eye on, but I think that will be it. I'd love to do a colour run if they ever come to Canada. As for my stats, I finished with a time of 47:15, which beat my previous best time by two minutes. I placed 158 out of 169 runners, which stings a little bit, but really shouldn't. I've only been running seriously since April and have only run 5 km a dozen times, so I'll take it and work on speeding it up for next year.

My phone has pinged all day with messages full of lovely things. Thank you so much. Each one has brought a smile to my face. I feel about 100 feet tall today. Much love to you all.

finally here

Oh my gosh!! It's race day eve! What the hell!?

If you're so inclined you can send some good thoughts for swift feet my way!

Night.

the countdown

Five days. That's all I have left. Five days until I run in my first 5km race. I was thinking about it as I ran 5km this afternoon. What am I even doing?

I am not a natural athlete. In fact I am not an athlete at all. I played no organized sports of any kind growing up. My parents attempted to sign me up for baseball when I was about 10. I never took the field once. We had just moved to the country from the city and all those kids had played baseball together forever and I had barely played catch. I took one look at them throwing the ball around and probably peed my pants. I also dealt with some depression, anxiety and major shyness issues when I was younger. I don't remember how much coaxing they did, but at some point they did allow me to bow out. That was the beginning and ending of my sports career, unless you count the church slow pitch team I played on purely because they had to have three (I think) girls on the team and I was given strict instructions to get out of the way of any play that came in my vicinity.

I have no illusions about this race. There is not a chance in hell that I'm going to come across the finish line first. I am not a competitive person by any stretch of the imagination. I'm also not a trail blazer. I don't just go out and do things on my own. This all adds up to what the hell is Shanny doing?

Here's the thing. Abby thought running sounded like great fun and that running a 5km was an excellent idea. I certainly couldn't send her out there on her own, so off we went. I mentioned it to a couple of girlfriends and they were game to. We had lots of time to work our way through the couch to 5k program so we'd be race ready by mid August. Then Abby realized running was maybe not her thing and I stayed out there running on my own. I managed to finish the program and actually ran 5km, I never really believed that I would do it. Then the time came to shit or get off the pot. If I was going to run in this race I was going to have actually sign up for it.

That brings us right around to where we started. What am I doing? I still don't know. When it became apparent that nobody else was in this with me and I still signed up... well I don't have to tell my real life peeps that is not Shannon-like behaviour. Hell, me being out running by myself three or four times a week is not Shannon-like behaviour. Mike asked me last night if I was nervous and I said yes, but really I'm not. I feel kind of ambivalent about it. I know me and by this point I should be experiencing some (read a lot of) anxiety, but I'm just not. It's a weird experience.

I am overwhelmingly proud of myself for doing this and that is not easy for me to admit. I am not one to toot my own horn in anything, but a joking manner. I appreciate all your kind words and comments. A little encouragement goes such a long way, you don't even know. I am trying to be more gracious when accepting compliments as my instinct is to downplay all the hard work I've been doing. So thank you all so much and remember to think of me Sunday morning hopefully running at my personal best.

signed up

So I did it. I signed up to run in that race in August. I did and then I thought what the eff? I don't typically do these sorts of things on my own and it looks like just me, myself, and I are doing this. My registration fee is non-refundable and non-transferable. So yeah... really doing it.

I was actually just mildly nervous until last night when I realized that there would be other people there. Other people there watching me run. That's another thing I don't do... things in front of other people. No public speaking for this chick, no dancing on stage, no making myself the center of attention.... you get the idea. I run in the middle of a corn field, there's nothing but my questionable taste in running music out there.

Yeah... why am I doing this again? Because as a lark when I started this running thing I said I was going to do it and now here we are. I'm not really sure how I feel about this whole thing. My brother is a road cyclist and he rides in many races, but he's a natural athlete and he really enjoys the competition. I'm not sure I'm wired that way. Who's to say though, I may be hooked on races forever after I finish this one.

i did it

Are you tired of the running posts yet? Well in the words of my father.... TS.

Today was big. Huge. Epic.

Today I ran to the bench that marks the 2km point. I walked past it a bit, just shaking out my legs, getting control of my breathing, organizing myself for the run back. I looked ahead and thought, if I just go a little further I can make 5km, by the time I get home.

I felt great, it had been a really good run to that point. I felt strong, my legs were good, so off I went. I did a great job paying attention to my breathing, keeping a good steady pace, not my best time, but not to far off it. I kept one eye on my phone watching for my app to click over to 2.5km. When I hit it I stopped for a minute, two guys blew past me on their bikes, I felt like stopping them and yelling hey, guess what I just did! But I still had to run back, so I really hadn't done anything yet, oh but the potential was there. So I let them carry on completely oblivious to my awesomeness, then I turned and ran towards home.

Today as I hit the gate that marks where I get on and off the trail I stopped for a minute, I still had my .5km cool down walk back home, but the hard part was over. I'd done it. I'd run 4kms non stop, my warm up/cool down counts for 1km of my total mileage, my next goal is 6km, so I am running a true 5km.

I played it cool when I got home, just set my phone in front of Mike with my run stats on the screen and he knew right away, knew I had done it. I sat at the desk to log my run in my notebook and I admit to getting a wee bit weepy, there were times after starting this project when I thought I couldn't actually do this. I came back from runs defeated and discouraged and wondering what the hell I was even doing, but I kept with it. I can't even tell you why I did. My girl, The Mommy Project asked me how long I've been training and I've been running pretty steadily since mid March, before that it was pretty sporadic with no true gains in any way, shape or form. It's been hours now since I finished that run and I still can't believe I did it. Me. Who always wanted to be a runner, but didn't think I could. Who could barely run for 60 seconds a handful of months ago. I can't even tell you how proud of myself I am and that is a very hard thing for me to say, but I am and I should be and I should say so.