Sunday, August 19, 2012

done

Well today was race day! My goals for today was to run my best time and not be last and I am happy to say I accomplished both, but today was so much more than that.

I slept well the night before, I wasn't sure if I would. I wasn't sure when the anxiety was going to set in because, although I hadn't had any yet, I was still anticipating it showing up. It did not. I slept well and was up early to get ready.

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Headed to the park I was tweeting and just feeling overwhelmed from the good wishes I'd already received. I was feeling a titch anxious just about getting there and getting my kit and getting ready to go. I'd never done any of that stuff before, but turns out it was super easy to do. Mike and the kids helped me pin my bib on and affix my timing chip. My Mom found us and then it was time for hugs and photos before heading to the start line.

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One last wave as I head off. This was a big moment for me. It was really all I could do to keep myself together. The fact that I was here was huge. I thought about my girl The MP and how ages ago she said I should go running with her and I kept telling her, nah, I'm not a runner. She thought I could do it long before I ever imagined I could even try. I could see the girls, Mike and my Mom, but I didn't dare look in their direction for too long. I wondered about the other runners around me and wondered if this event was a huge for them as it was for me.

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Waiting for the start, that's when the anxiety started rolling over me. I couldn't remember all the instructions they had announced. Then BANG it was time to go. I struggled the first little bit to keep everything in check. A friend said I was very focused and I was.... on keeping myself together. I had a hard time with the cheering spectators, being the focus of attention is not my thing. One guy called out my bib number and some encouraging things, it was lovely and overwhelming at the same time. I pushed myself to be gracious and thank folks for their encouragement.

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Once I was out of the park and the spectators were minimal it was more like a regular Sunday run, just me and my ipod. I was very afraid I was in last place. I mean it felt like it was. My pace felt good, but I was definitely towards the back of the pack, way at the back. It was a nice run though. My legs were good, my knee didn't bother me and before I knew it I was headed back into the park.

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That's me way over there on the other side of the bench. This was the toughest bit for me. You see, I have been an incredible cheerleader for many people. I've sat on the sidelines of many racing venues cheering on my brother, I'm fairly certain this is the first time I've been the one with people on the sidelines cheering for me. Wow. The thought was really too much to take in.

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And I cried as I crossed the finish line to this, my guy and my babies with flowers and signs. We were all electronically challenged today, my camera's batteries died, Mom accidentally locked hers so there isn't a shot of me crossing the line, but still I did. Trust me:) I think Grandma Linda got some, but I haven't seen them yet.

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So would I do it again? Yes, I think so. I've already looked at other races online, but I can't see myself being really hardcore about it. I really liked this race and plan on running again next year. There's one or two other local ones I have my eye on, but I think that will be it. I'd love to do a colour run if they ever come to Canada. As for my stats, I finished with a time of 47:15, which beat my previous best time by two minutes. I placed 158 out of 169 runners, which stings a little bit, but really shouldn't. I've only been running seriously since April and have only run 5 km a dozen times, so I'll take it and work on speeding it up for next year.

My phone has pinged all day with messages full of lovely things. Thank you so much. Each one has brought a smile to my face. I feel about 100 feet tall today. Much love to you all.

8 comments:

Woot, woot! You did it! Not that I ever had a doubt, mind you. I keep telling myself that I am going to get back in to running. Stories like this make me want to even more. ;)
Fantastic! I'm so proud of you, I actually teared up reading this. I'm actually thinking about maybe running now. A bit. Maybe. You rock!
WTG! That's amazing!!
awesome time shan! seriously, awe.some! you should be one proud lady!
that is so AWESOME Shan! I am so happy for you! I remember my first run fondly, you'll never forget yours! YAY!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you set a goal for yourself and followed through. Whatever time you got, whatever place you got, you DID IT. You did something you didn't think you could do and proved yourself powerful and capable (and think of the example you've just set for your daughters as well.)
Merry - thanks! I truly appreciate all the support and encouragement.

Lynn - Aww now you're making me tear up. Let me know if you start.

Kaci - Thanks!

Julie - I am. Still can't believe it though.

Chantal - Definitely a big highlight for me.

Leah - Awww, now here I go again. Where's the kleenex?

Thank you all, really, truly. I'm a lucky girl to know such lovely people.
Yay! Good for you! You did awesome! I love reading all the emotion! BTW the graffitti run colour run is coming to ottawa Sept 22nd! :)