Christmas Chaos

Happy Christmas Eve everyone! I can't believe it's here already. Abby had a hard time understanding that Santa wasn't coming last night. "Aww, but Mom I saw on TV. They said it's Christmas tree time, Ho Ho Ho and Merry Christmas." There's not much that slips past that girl. We did finally manage to convince her and she headed off to bed with little fuss after we had coffee with Dad and Linda. Right now I'm just killing some time before I get her up nice and early so she'll be ready for a nap this afternoon. Tonight we're headed to my cousin's house for Christmas Eve dinner with my Mom's brothers and sister and their families.

Christmas Eve dinner is something we've always done as long as I can remember. Way back in the day we'd all pack into my Grandparents tiny house. My Mom is one of 5 children plus spouses and kids and now some of us kids have kids so currently our numbers round out at about 30. Now that both my Grandparent's have passed on I have to admit I'm surprised we still gather together on Christmas Eve. We tried for a couple of years moving the dinner to earlier in December, but my cousin, ever the purist, insisted that it be moved back to Christmas Eve because that's the way we've always done it.

This is just one issue that has sparked the great Christmas debate of 2005. Mike and I have been discussing for days now the changes we'd like to make for the holiday season of 2006. I know it seems silly, we haven't even celebrated this Christmas yet, but thinking of all the obligations we have to meet in a relatively short time frame has us working on an equitable formula for the coming years. Of course when you're dealing with 3 sets of (grand)parents, well, this formula requires math of Nasa proportions.

Now I love my Aunts and Uncles and I do enjoy spending time with my family. It is pretty impressive that we've managed to keep this up as long as we have. I realize a lot of families don't. Especially when they start to reach the numbers we have. I would hate to miss the celebration entirely, but Mike and I agree if it continues on Christmas Eve we're going to have to respectfully bow out. We'd be happy if they'd be willing to move it to an earlier date, but we also understand that we can't expect everybody to conform to our needs. The major problem is, of course, Abby and her expected brother or sister. Mike and I are capable of handling the stress that goes along with juggling many Christmas obligations, but then we're adults. As a three year old Abby's only coping technique is a tantrum of epic proportions and really what kind of a parent signs up for that voluntarily?

Of course solving the Christmas Eve problem doesn't help us with the Christmas Day/Grandparent problem. Not that I'm insinuating that Abby's Grandparent's are problematic because they aren't in any way. Abby truly is a blessed little girl to have so many people who love her. Currently we spend Christmas dinner, alternating years, with my Mom or Mike's Dad and Linda. For the last couple of years or so Sandi has been coming over in the morning to have breakfast. On the years we have dinner with my Mom, after breakfast with Sandi we slip over to Dad and Linda's around lunchtime to open gifts there. So those years we've had three major Chirstmases by the time we've had dinner. Which is both good and bad. Good because we've gotten everything over and done with. Bad because for a little kid that's a pretty overwhelming whirl wind she's gone through. Another sticking point with me is on the years we don't have dinner with my Mom, well I just don't see her Christmas Day and she never complains about it although I'm sure it must be difficult for her. Mike's parents we see Christms Day every year. That's not a knock against Mike's parents. I'm the very first to admit I lucked out in the in-law department BIG TIME! It just doesn't seem quite fair.

Now add into the equation Dave and Mel. They're on a rotating schedule with Dave's in-laws as well. So the years I don't see Mom, neither does Dave. Mel's parents live way up in Trenton so there's no chance of even a pop in visit from them Christmas Day. This year they will be arriving here the Wednesday following Christmas, but we won't have dinner and exchange gifts with Mom until the following Friday. Yes, to further complicate things Mom works in retail, managing a ladies clothing store. So her time off around the holidays is ,well, pretty much non-exsistent. So you see why I need the guy from Good Will Hunting?

Mike suggested we start hosting one big holiday dinner in which all Grandparent's are invited, but that would only make things worse. As I've mentioned before Abby is one spoiled little girl. To have all Grandparents descend on her at the same time with their Christmas gifts would be too much to put it mildly. There would be no way her little mind could process all that at once. It would be meaningless. So needless to say we're still at the drawing board with no idea how to really make the sitaution better while still keeping it fair for everyone.

I don't want it to sound like I'm complaining. Everybody should have such problems. Between us Mike and I have a great family and great friends that are like family. We're lucky lucky people. We were discussing this with Dad and Linda recently and Dad gave us a great piece of advice. "Do what's best and easiest for the kids because in my experience if the kids aren't happy, then the parents aren't happy. The rest of us will just have to fall in line." So with that pearl of wisdom I think we'll end the discussions for the time being and try and enjoy the holiday chaos.