How to get absolutely nothing accomplished.

Mike's birthday is this Sunday and at this time I ask you all to pause and remember me telling you how unbearably cranky he gets around his birthday. Anyway Mr. Crankypants was in need of a new sticker for the van. Since the van doesn't need an emission test he could pick his sticker up and any number of conveniently located kiosks. Now coincidentally my Mom was just recently (as in this past Monday) transferred to a store located in a mall that has a conveniently located kiosk. So I thought it would be a great way to kill two birds with one stone, Mike could get his sticker, we could visit Mom's new store (or Granny's new workshop as Abby's been calling it) and since Mom was working days she'd be free to have a bite of dinner with us. Okay I guess that's three birds, but still only one stone so we're ahead of the game.

Now since we were doing all of that we may as well stop at the bank on the way because I had a couple of cheques to be deposited. One of which was Mike's birthday present from his Dad and Linda, cash to cover the cost of his sticker. Also we had emptied Abby's piggy bank recently.



So along with $100+ of rolled change there was Maya's birthday cash to go in the bank, but I can't find one of the cheques I need to deposit. Great, just great. The trip to the bank is postponed until I can find the lost cheque.Then we attempted to get ready to leave the house. Do you know how much work it takes to get two kids ready to go out the door in the dead of winter? If you don't, let me tell you, it takes a lot longer than you'd think. Once we had finally hit the open road Abby decided she had issues with getting onto the highway. Apparently taking the on-ramp takes 5 days and that's just the on-ramp. I mean factor in the actual highway and you could be driving indefinitely. Despite the chorus of "I-changed-my-mind-I-don't-want-to-go-anymore's" (that would be a duet for Mike and Abby) we traveled on towards our destination. Now it was close to the halfway point (and by halfway point I mean 89% of the way there) of our journey that I realized I had left the paperwork necessary for Mike to renew his sticker sitting on my desk at home. You can imagine how well that went over with Mr. Crankypants.

Finally at the mall, Mike has chilled out about my forgetting the paperwork and we head over to check out Granny's new workshop only to find out Granny is still working and will still be working until much later than we are intending to be there. Dinner with Mom is out. That would be strike 2 for those of you keeping score at home. Mr I'm so happy my birthday is almost here's blood pressure goes up, way up. Determined not to make this a complete waste of time we take the kids to the food court to have a bite of dinner. Now that appeared to go off without a hitch until I brought the tray back to the table and only then realized I had neglected to order either Mike or myself a beverage. No problem, Mike will just get himself a coffee before we leave except Tim Horton's doesn't take debit and neither one of us had two nickels to rub together because they're all in rolls in the van, which we had left unlocked. Unlocked! With a big bag of cash in it. Thank goodness God could recognize that we were already having a bad day and our money was still there when we got back.

We finally arrived back home about two and a half hours after our journey began with absolutely nothing to show for it except a little less gas in the tank. Mike, shockingly, wasn't nearly as annoyed as I figured he was going to be with my scattered brain tonight. Although it is hard to stay annoyed when your four year old stands in the middle of the mall's concourse loudly singing the national anthem for all to enjoy. I even saw a couple of teenaged goths collapse under the pressure of her cuteness and crack a smile. Kind of made the whole evening seem worthwhile.