I pulled it off.

When you have a secret after a while you think everyone can tell. That they can smell it on you. You begin to over analyze everything. There is a constant secret related commentary running through your head.

Why is he looking at me like that? Does he know? He must know, why else would he be looking at me like that? What did she just say? What did she mean? She must know something because why else would she say that? Yes it was definitely a hint that she knows something. Was that a wink? Did he just wink at me? Oh God, they know! They all know!

It's pretty stinking annoying and I'm not really that good at it. Keeping secrets I mean. Well I should qualify that, I'm not good at keeping secrets from Mike. Well I should qualify that again, because those of you out there who have entrusted me with your personal secrets, well I just want you to know they're safe and sound. They are in the vault. No worries. So, just to clarify, I have a hard time keeping a birthday/Christmas related secret from Mike. And that's not to say I just blab every present he's getting or things like that, but if I merely think of something he just seems to be able to tell what it is. Like last year I had this great idea to put together a little poker tourney on his birthday and all I said to him was, "I know what we're going to do for your birthday." To which he immediately replied, "Have a poker game?" Yeah, he's that annoying.

Okay so I may have mention a few hundred times that Mike gets a tad cranky around his birthday. I also may have taken some journalistic license with said crankiness, just for laughs. He actually wasn't too bad this year, it was more of a mild funk really. Now even though he was insisting that he didn't want to do anything for his birthday I knew that really meant he'd like to have a party. A poker party. Even though he also said I don't to play poker for my birthday. See how I listen. So after that conversation I rushed off to my hotmail account and emailed all of our poker playing friends. Now if I knew anything I knew that if Mike caught a whiff of this party he would squash it so I had to employ secret agent level tactics to pull it off. Actually the success of the whole operation was due to us have really great friends/family. As it was getting down to the wire I had monologued myself into believing that if he hadn't figured out the entire plan he at least had a whiff that something was up. So just to throw him off a bit my secret had layers.

Layer one - Dave and Mel arrive unexpectedly (to Mike anyway) to cook Mike a fabulous birthday dinner. Mike is truly surprised and thinks it's a pretty amazing gift that I arranged for them to visit.

Layer two - Jeff arrives to join us for dinner. Mike , once again is surprised. Woo hoo, so far so good.

Layer three - Robin, Tim and the girls arrive bearing copious amounts of food and gifts for the whole family. I told you she's Oprah. Mike continues to be surprised.

Layer four - Jaclynne shows up. Mike is beyond surprised now and begs me to let him in on the rest of the surprise.

Layer five - Grandma Sandi and Old Beard arrive with more food. The surprise is complete! Mike had no clue. I win!

I have to admit the evening was great fun, but then I knew it would be. Now for the evening's awards.



The Oh I've never played before, honest Award goes to Robin, who part way through the game had the biggest rack stack at the table. Yeah, sure you've never played before. Did I mention she knocked Dave and I out on the same hand?

The Land Speed Record Award goes to Papa Old Beard, who dispensed the most poker related information in the shortest amount of time.

The Girls Rock Award goes to Grandma Sandi for being that last remaining female in the tourney.

The Oprah Award for Outstanding Achievement in Being Over the Top goes to Oprah Robin and Steadman Tim for picking up chicken wings in Buffalo that day. Yes, they drove to *another country* to get snacks for the game. Wow! They rock!



The Chris Rock Award for Outstanding Achievement in Poker Related Humour goes to Dave for declaring there was a possible pair on the table after the dealer flopped a four of hearts, two of clubs and a four of spades.

The Cuba Gooding Jr. Award for Outstanding Achievement in Showboating goes to Tim for betting the hell out of a hand he never even looked at.



The Wait Until Next Year Award goes to Courtney for hovering around the table and jumping in to fill a seat when needed. Did I mention she's taller than me now? When did that happen? I was there when she was born and now she's this giant poker player. Oh I feel so old.



Our MVP (Most Vanished Player) for the evening was Uncle Jeff who had to leave to take care of a work situation. Thankfully he did get a chance to have dinner with us before the fateful call so it wasn't an entire loss, but it sucked just the same.



And our final award of the evening, Most Improved Player goes to Michael for going from zero (last year) to hero (this year). Okay, okay so Tim actually won the head to head, but Michael did come in second after going out first in his own tourney last year. So we'll just let the birthday boy have his moment in the sun.



Happy Birthday Baby!

There is evidence, it is photographic and it is here.