Just last night while our house was full of friends, I got a call from our accountant that our income tax was completed and needed to be signed off on. Once again this year we procrastinated our asses off and left it until the last minute. Also again this year was a good news/bad news situation, with really good news for Mike and a little bad news for me, but we were expecting that what with the whole year off thing and all.
Fast forward to tonight, Mike had a doctor's appointment right after work. Abby had an impromptu nap before dinner. Maya was whiny and clingy all night and let's not forget choir practice. Some how in the midst of all that I totally forgot about those pesky income tax returns at the accountant's that were awaiting our signatures. Picture it, it's quarter after eight, one kid is asleep, the other is watching one last cartoon in our bed. I am ready to watch the Office and maybe, finally eat some dinner myself. The phone rings. It's our accountant. Can we come and sign the papers right now? Does it have to be now? Yes, he's away for a couple days starting tomorrow, so yes. Now. Hmm, now what do we do? Papa is not at home so he can't watch the kids. Grandma Linda is in choir practice herself and nobody is answering the phone at the church. Hmmm. Now what? Hey! I remember the kid next door has been babysitting. Call him!
Okay so here's the thing I've never ever left my kids with anyone who isn't directly related or such a close friend they are just about family. Nothing against E, from next door. He's a good kid. We just have such an abundance of family that outside babysitters have never been necessary. And we would, literally, be gone half an hour. Maya was sleeping. I would put Abby in bed, all he would have to do was sit there and run out the clock. And his Mom would be just across the yard the entire time. It will be fine.
I head upstairs to put Abby to bed. I hesitate for a moment, wondering if I could get away with not telling her Mike and I were going out. Instantly thought better of it. Since she was not actually asleep there was a very real possibility she could go downstairs to use the bathroom or get a drink and freak the eff out.
Me: Okay Abs, Mommy and Daddy have to go out for half an hour. E's going to come and stay with you until we get back. You know E, from next door?
Abby: Why? I don't want him to come over.
Me: Well you just stay in bed and you won't have to see him. Did you want to stay in Mommy's bed?
Abby: Uh huh. But I don't want you to go.
Me: We'll be really quick, I promise. You just go to sleep.
Abby: Okay.
She agreed, but I could see it in her face. Her eyes were wide and bright with unshed tears. Her mouth a tiny pinched line. She was trying to hold it together. Trying to be a big girl. I stopped what I was doing and held her gaze for a moment and was instantly that little girl again. I felt a lump rise up in my throat because I could feel her fear. I could remember the countless times I had felt just like she was now. I recalled all the times I'd been left at my Grandparent's or an Aunt's for an overnight. How I would be counting the seconds until it was over. Until I was back at home, with my Mom. I was a painfully shy child and these kinds of situations were torture. I looked at her and I couldn't do it. Couldn't leave her there. The look of pure relief on her face was sign enough that I was doing the right thing.
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