Today I had the following conversation with a co-worker.
Co-worker: Hey Shan, what did you do last night?
Me: Took my kids for a walk, put the laundry away, made dinner. You know.
C: How many kids do you have?
M: Two.
C: Abby and??
M: Abby and Maya.
C: How old are they?
M: One and five.
C: They have different fathers right?
M: Umm no.
C: But they aren't Mike's, right? That is your husband's name isn't it?
M: No they're his kids too.
And then we kind of stared at each other, both of us, I think, momentarily stunned by the conversation.
I have to admit my first reaction was to be offended by the suggestion that I've, obviously, been "giving it away". That two separate men had fathered my children and I was now with a third (at least). Now let me say I'm not judging anyone on how they've lived their lives, but that is just so not me. I have been with Mike since I was sixteen, and you can draw your own conclusions from that. I realize statistically our relationship never should have survived, but it did and it does. I'm proud of what we have and I opened my mouth to tell her as much, but in the end I didn't.
Before I go any further I think it's important to point out this girl is younger than me, like half-my-age younger than me and she was simply speaking from her experience. It is very likely a sad commentary on the state of the world but for her it is completely probable that my kids could have different fathers and neither one would be the man I was currently married to. That, to her, would seem normal. It was simply, yet another reminder than I am old, people. I'm comfortable. Staid. The wild oats have been sown. And that's just fine with me.
5 comments:
It's totally a commentary on the direction our society is going (has gone) and I feel scared for my children! Somehow we have to combat all of these ideas and show them that rampant sexuality really isn't "normal" even if it is the "norm"!
At least maybe you gave this girl something to think about, even if she was stunned to meet someone who's only born children from ONE man!
was this Melis?...lol
Wow, that must've been...awkward. I can just imagine the look on your face. Weird.
I'm wondering if she confused you with someone or what?
That is weird. I can sort of see her wondering, since Abby and Maya are sort of far apart in age, but... it's not like your older one is 10 or something!
I don't at all understand why she would assume that you'd moved on from the "father" of your one year old already!
Lolly; yes the idea of raising teenage girls scares the pants off me.
Michelle; yes it was a weird moment and I wish I could have seen the look on my own face. And no, there was no chance she had me confused with anyone.
Laurel; I think that's what surprised me the most too, looking back on it. I guess I look like I move fast.
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