funny thing happened on the way home from walmart

In retrospect there were many signs. Signs that very clearly screamed, DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE, for any who cared to listen. We did not care to listen, but we should have when Maya fell head first out of the van on to the gravel parking lot where we get Abby off the bus. The fall must have knocked something loose because when I picked her hysterical self up off the ground she very clearly said "my head" while cradling it between both hands. Then even more clearly, "Abby hurt me". Which is technically true, but that doesn't make it any less of an accident. Then there was the estimate on our garage repair that came in at about $3000 more than we would like to spend. Okay maybe $2500 more and maybe that's just me. Then we had the over tired, wound up from school Abby and the mildly concussed, goose egged cranky pants Maya.

That right there should have been enough to convince us to cut our losses and put everyone, including us, to bed early, but Abby needed a new back pack. The zipper on the one we bought last year gave up the ghost about a week ago, but we've been limping it along until today. No question she would need a new one before school on Thursday. So off we head to Wal Mart which is a mere ten kilometres from our front door. This will be important later. So in ten-ish minutes we are shopping. We pick up a back pack, it is pink, it is Barbie, it is 50% off, it is perfect. We grab winter boots for the girls before the selection is too picked over. Abby attempts to talk us into purchasing her a pair of red sequined shoes. Since there was a recent purchase of *pink sequined shoes* the request is denied. At this point we are at our shopping limit, all four of us. We self check ourselves out and head for the door. On the way past the ATM I pause and remark I should get cash for the sitter despite the fact it is an independent machine and there will be an additional charge. The girls are getting a little cranky and the $1.25 doesn't seem that much to pay at the moment. Mike disagrees, he'll just whip up the road to the bank and use the drive thru ATM, no service charge. And that's what we attempt to do.

We are two minutes up the road and half way to the bank, Maya is screeching at Abby, wanting her bottle of iced tea. Abby is singing, loudly, a song of her own making which basically outlines how this is not the way home and how much further is it to the bank? Michael reaches his limit, turns around and heads for home not willing to listen to the chatter a second longer than necessary. Now on the way to Wally Mike remarked on the heavy traffic on our local highway suggesting that the major highway nearby must be closed. A tidbit of information he apparently forgot as he hit the on ramp. His plan was to travel the highway until the next exit (which saves him very little time, but still he does this) as he occasionally does on the way home from "town". This trip normally takes three minutes, maybe four. Tonight we were on the highway for about 30 seconds when the traffic just stopped. Just past our exit was, what looked like a pretty nasty accident. The highway was closed. Traffic was at a literal stand still. In my entire life I have never come to a complete stop on a major highway, but stop we did. For several minutes at a time. With girls who were officially finished with today.

Folks our 4 minute highway drive took us 35 minutes tonight. At one point as Maya cried to be out of her car seat and Abby whined about how she just wanted to be home I looked at Mike and said, "don't you wish you'd just spent the $1.25 service charge at the ATM?" I wish I could repeat what he said, but I try to run a family friendly show here. Suffice it to say, he was not ready to laugh about it yet.