Sunday, April 22, 2012

to me

So it was my birthday yesterday. If you ask Maya, I turned 23, but the rest of the world isn't buying that story. I did in fact turn 39 and as I said to the friends we had dinner with... I do not yet feel like a grown up. I mean, I'm pretty sure my Mom was a grown up by the age I am now. Well it seemed like it to me. I wonder if I seem like I'm a grown up to mine?

I had a pretty great day. Shopping with Grandma Linda in the morning. I was not planning on looking at any clothes, seeing as how the stuff I bought at Christmas is already too big, but she insisted and oh my gosh.... it is really fantastic for your ego to try on clothes on your 39th birthday that are way smaller than the sizes you were buying only 4 months ago. Trust me. I don't think I had really seen the physical changes in my body until yesterday. Wow! And it's hard for me to say that. I'm not one for bragging on myself.

My birthday is awkward for me. I have no hang up about age. I mean, the facts may tell you that I am indeed 39, but I don't feel 39 in any way, shape or form. I have a hard time accepting all the loveliness people send my way. It overwhelms me, emotionally. I feel it's more than I deserve, which isn't to say I think poorly of myself, but rather I don't understand why anyone is making a fuss over little ole me, if that makes any sense. If you happened to be shopping at the mall yesterday.... that was me weeping in the middle of the walkway because my shopping trip with Grandma Linda was just too much. I sound like fun huh? I just can't help it. Maybe because I know how much it's worth, all that loveliness.

Dinner we spent with very old, very dear friends and a new buddy. There were lots of laughs, some trash talk and some really delicious food. Singapore Street Noodles.... oh my yum! In a nutshell it was pretty much a perfect evening. My friends, they spoiled me. Facebook spoiled me with all the birthday love it sent my way. My phone pinged all day with messages. Thanks to all of you who took a few minutes to send a message my way. Each one made my day brighter. Much love to each and every one of you! xo

3 comments:

good grief! i don't get onto fb for one day and i miss a huge event!! happy birthday shan. you deserve every little bit of the affection sent your way by those who love you near and far. here is to a fabulous 39th year!
that is so sweet, happy birthday to you Shan!
Thanks ladies!