Well Maya continues to improve. Tonight she graduated from the Neonatal unit to the Level 2 nursery. Technically it's still part of the Neonatal unit, but for less serious cases. Abby was in the Level 2 nursery for 5 days after her birth. Maya has now been in hospital for a week and will continue her stay until Sunday at least. For precaution's sake the doctors would like her to stay on antibiotics for 7 days. Sunday will be the 7th day, so with luck they'll be releasing her on Monday. Every test they've run has come back negative so they are saying this whole episode stems from her being premature. She tricked them all by being so strong and fiesty out of the gate, after a few days though she had worn herself out.
Understandably this has been a scary and stressful week for all of us. Even now that Maya is doing much better it's still difficult juggling our home and hospital time. Mike spent time with Maya today while I spent time with Abby. While it was important that I give this time to Abby I still felt horribly guilty about not being with Maya. Abby is coping with the chaos as best she can, but it's a lot for her to absorb at three and a half. Not surprisingly she has been acting out. She's a little bit more mouthy and defiant than she normally is. Mike and I are trying to be patient and keep on top of her behaviour, but at times it is a struggle. We were talking today about how exhausted we've both felt even though we aren't really "doing" anything. We've been going down to the hospital in the morning and spending time with Maya. Then we get home and make phone calls to keep everyone updated. Spend some time with Abby, if she's home and then head back down to the hospital again. Get back home, sometimes collecting Abby first, and get her settled for bed. After that it's more phone calls. We've been trying to divide things between us and I think we're managing to support each other very well. Mike has been amazing. I mean we've had our moments, but overall he's been more than supportive.
I've really tried to take the time to explain to Abby what's going on with Maya. Since she had spent time in Neonatal herself I got out the photo albums and we looked at pictures of her when she was in the hospital. I also have a memory box for her that we went through. Mike and I had kept a lot of "momentos" from her birth. We had her heart monitor lines, the hat she wore in the isolette, hospital bands, graduation certificate and so on. I wasn't sure how much she was absorbing until I heard her on the phone with my Mom tonight telling Grandma that Baby Maya wasn't done at the hospital yet so she couldn't come home. She also added Baby Maya to her special prayers at night all by herself. I guess she picked up more than I had thought.
This week with Maya made me stop and take a look at our little family. I had always wanted to have more than 2 children. Of course I didn't know how much of a struggle it was going to be for us. At times we wondered if we'd ever have kids at all. Now I've had 3 pregnancies with 2 babies to show for it. Both girls were born early and with health problems. I think I've pushed my luck enough. There's no way I could go through having a sick child again. We already have more than we had expected, so it's time to cash in our chips and let somebody else play. I was a little melancholy about this pregnancy, in the back of my mind I think I already knew it would be my last one. I tried to make sure that I really appreciated being pregnant. I know I complained about it here, but that was a little tongue in cheek. I loved the feeling of Maya wiggling around in there. My hands were constantly on my stomach, just trying to commit the feeling to memory.
Mike had said many times during this pregnancy that he hoped we would have another girl. He thinks all girls should have a sister. I was positive Maya would be a boy even though I was secretly hoping for a girl was well. I wanted a girl because it was going to be easier. I have lots of girl clothes and the house is full of girl toys. Of course a boy would have been just fine and that truly was what I was expecting. Even more secretly though I wanted to have a girl because Mike and I had decided on her middle names as being Mary Joyce. Mary for Mike's paternal Grandmother who passed away many years ago and Joyce, of course, for Papa Joyce who we lost just last October. That was my big reason I wanted to use those names. Tonight Mike was on the phone with his Aunt giving her an update on Maya and they started discussing her name. I almost cried when I heard him say that he wanted a girl because he really wanted to use the names we had picked out. He wanted to honour his Dad by using his Grandma's name and he wanted to honour Joyce because "she was a great lady and she deserved it". Without ever discussing that we were exactly on the same page. Is my husband an amazing guy or what?
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