best news ever

She was days old when they sat us down in front of her NICU isolette to tell us that she had a hole in her heart. A large hole, too big to close on it's own, they said. They talked about surgery and the first few months were full of appointments with three different doctors. Then it was off to Sick Kids for tests to prepare for surgery. After tests there, they said... well wait a minute, this hole here that wasn't supposed to close... well it's closing. Let's just leave it for now and see what it does. Oh and now that there isn't so much going on in there, we've found two more holes, just tiny ones. Pinpricks. We'll check her again when she's one.

She was one, when we brought her back in for more tests. She needed to be sedated, the sedation wouldn't take. It was a long day, but there was good news. The big hole has closed, but the two tiny ones are still there. We are sent home, but asked to notify the hospital if we move or change our phone number in the next three years. We have to watch for unexplained fevers and infections. She'll need antibiotics before dental appointments.

She's four when we bring her back in for more tests. The residents crowd around her to listen to a perfect example of an innocent murmur. The doctors seem surprised that those tiny holes haven't closed yet and think that perhaps she'll just always have them. We're sent home and told to let them know if we move or change our phone number in the next four years.

Last week we went back in for more tests. Just an ecg, we didn't see the doctor. They sent us back home to wait for the results..... which we got today.

It's funny how your brain learns to cope. How you can carry baggage without realizing you're carrying it. Before this afternoon I would have told you that I had made my peace with Abby's condition. And then we got the call that her heart is a perfectly healthy and hole-free. I made Mike repeat it to me about five times, while I kept saying... for real? Like, no holes? She's fine?!

And all of the sudden there was a lump in my throat the size of a boulder. I got weepy as I sent out a massive text to all grandparents, aunts, uncles and besties. It seemed like to most efficient way to get the message to 14 people all at once. I posted it on facebook. My email pinged and my cell phone beeped and then my Mom called and that's when I burst into tears. I was not expecting that reaction at all. Even hours later, it's still right there.. that weepiness. I am so grateful and thankful and relieved I could put my head down right now and cry for a while.

Then we got to tell Abby, who fist pumped and cried a bit herself when she heard, but mostly we just walked around tonight with the world's biggest smiles on our faces.......



That's Abby just after we told her the news. We are all so happy to be at the end of this journey. Thanks to everyone who has loved and supported us along the way. Much love to all of you.