38

Contrary to Maya's belief I did turn 38 on my last birthday. Wow! When you say it out loud it's really kind of surprising. I'm not one that gets bothered by my age. I don't feel 38... I guess. I'm not sure. I've never been 38 before. Maybe this is what it feels like.

I like 38. I like it a lot. Life is crazy and full and busy and so much fun. Personally, spiritually, emotionally I feel the best I've ever felt. That's not to say that the years prior to 38 were anything to sneeze at.... it's just more.

I was thinking the other day about being 38, thinking that when I was a kid 38 seemed so old. My parents seemed so old. Then I realized that my Dad never got the chance to see 38. Then being 38 felt weird. I'm older than my parent. Weird. And a tad unsettling if you think about it.

And when I say old I don't mean ancient. I mean grown up. Together. They seemed to have it all together. Well clearly we know my Dad didn't have it all together, but my Mom sure did. The one who got left behind to pick up the pieces. To put us back together again. I've said many times in this very space how I think she's amazing for holding us together like she did. I admire and respect her for that more than I could put into words. I owe this awesomeness that is 38 to her.

Recently I had to be a grown up. I told Mike I didn't feel like a grown up and he didn't feel like a grown up either, but we had each other as we muddled our way through. My mind kept going back to my Mom, younger than I am now and newly on her own trying to figure out how to be a grown up on her own because I imagine she didn't feel any different than I did. I have to assume that what looked like being grown up and together was really just getting by on a wing and a prayer. It's always an interesting experience when you get a huge dose of perspective isn't it? Thanks a trillion Mom.