gah

I literally feel sick to my stomach. This past Christmas I baked a lot of cookies and then I baked some more and then I baked a few more and when I finally came out from under all that butter, flour and parchment paper I bought myself a laptop. I did. Mike insisted that I do it and went with me to the store bright and early boxing day morning to snag a great deal. It was love at first sight. No looking back.

I swore the laptop was just for me. No other mucky fingers would be allowed to touch it and none did for many months. Then slowly, here and there, I let Abby use it. Then Maya wanted a turn. I had my laptop password protected and only I knew what it was so they had to ask first. Then there was some sort of security breach and suddenly everyone knew my password. I'd wake up Saturday morning and come downstairs to find Abby in the recliner happily surfing away. Then Maya figured out how to type in the password and it was a bloody free for all.

Then yesterday after Abby had spent some time on Webkinz world my beautiful laptop would not turn on. It kept going into start up repair, but it wouldn't repair. I used Mike's computer to google a solution while I texted with my girl HPH about how to fix it. It was clear to see I was in over my head, so I packed it up and let HPH take to her husband. At last chat he'd been working on it all evening with no luck. He thinks it made be "fried" and needs a reinstall of windows. I'll lose everything that's on there. I think about the pictures I have saved to the hard drive and I want to cry. While realizing in the grand scheme of things it's not that big of a deal. I have my favourite ones uploaded to flickr and/or facebook so it wouldn't be a complete loss, but still... I just don't need this right now.

Our lives are in an upheaval as we all adjust to Mike's new job. Money here doesn't grow on trees, I am angry and upset to have something go wrong with something so costly to replace... getting ahead of myself... possibly, but the bottom line is it wouldn't be replaced. Not right now anyway. Abby is, of course, devastated. Which is only making me feel worse. She can be so hard on herself when she thinks she's messed up.... whether she has or she hasn't in actuality. I always say she's easy to "discipline" because nothing I could do could make her feel any worse than she's already made herself feel. Poor girl.

I'm really hoping for some good news.