Preoccupied

These days it seems Abby has a preoccupation with death. I figure her interest in the subject is due to the tragedy that occured across the street. I'm sure she's eavesdropped in on a conversation or two in which the "d" word came up. I first noticed it, when after a disagreement with her father she laid in her toy room and yelled, "My Daddy is dead now." I took the opportunity to explain, again, what death is and means, but I don't think she really got it. Since the next day I came down stairs to find her beloved beanie babies, Groovy and Mellow, tucked into bed for a nap, while Fleece was across the room in a heap. "What's up with Fleece?" I asked. "Oh he's dead." Okay, try the death conversation yet again. On the weekend Mike found her laying in the trailer in the garage. Yeah you guessed it, she was "dead".

I have to admit I'm not really sure how it handle this or if it even needs to be handled. I have explained death to her. We've talked about it in regards to Todd's passing and having lost Papa Joyce last year. Beyond that I'm not really sure what else to do. Most nights after getting in her PJ's we let Abby watch one cartoon in our bed. The other night there was an episode of Little Bear on. Have you seen this cartoon before? I have to admit I'm not a huge Little Bear fan. I mean first Little Bear is running around with no clothes on which really isn't a big deal if you factor in that he's a bear. However Mother Bear and Father Bear are also, well, bears but they managed to get themselves some styling garb from the 80's; the 1880's. Plus it bothers me that they can't come up with more original names for Little Bear's friends instead of Owl (the owl), Duck (the duck)... you get the picture.

So Abby settled in the other night to watch Little Bear and his pals while I puttered around the bedroom tidying up, putting away laundry and such. By some twist of fate that evening's edition of Little Bear was dealing with death. Perfect I thought as I settled in to watch with her. Maybe this will explain it better than I could. Now Little Bear does have one human friend and she has a dolly named Sally. It seems that Duck was left in charge of Sally and, well he accidentally sat on her and now she's dead. What!?! I mean seriously, wtf?!? He sat on her and now she's dead? What kind of kids show is this? So now Little Bear and his friends are searching for a suitable box to place Sally in for her funeral. Items that were tried and discarded included a winter boot and a baseball glove. While they were looking Mother Bear showed up. Great an adult to talk some sense into these kids. Mother Bear will explain death to the kids in a way that will be far superior to mine. I mean they consult with specialists for things like this don't they? So Mother Bear in her great Grizzly wisdom actually finds them a suitably sized box and sends them outside for the funeral. So now Sally the dolly is laying in the box while the rest of the gang picks flowers and cries about how much they're going to miss Sally. Then just when the crying starts to get out of control Little Bear's human friend picks Sally up out of the "coffin" and starts chatting with her. "What the hell," Little Bear yells. Oh no wait that was me, but I could totally tell that's what he was thinking. "Oh she's not dead anymore," the human friend singsongs. "It was just pretend."

Now I'm no child psychologist, but what did that teach a kid about death? That's it not permanent? That it can just be pretend? I thought about the two little boys across the street that just lost their dad. How would it have helped for them to see that episode of Little Bear? Would it have been helpful or confusing? I'm all about shows that actually teach my child something, like how to avoid sneaky swiping foxes or to tidy up in 10 seconds by shoving all the junk into or underneath your big comfy couch. In all seriousness though Abby has learned a lot from TV shows. She's passionate about seat belt safety because Dora taught her that we need seatbelts to be safe. Winnie the Pooh has taught her that "sharing is caring" and she reminds me everytime she wants a sip of my iced tea/water or bite of my cookies/hot dog/pancake/etc. I had just really had hoped for it to be more of a useable resource for parents and kids. Proof that it wasn't; today Abby and I were playing Barbie dolls. She was Prince Charming, I was generic blonde naked Barbie.

Abby: Hi, how are you?
Me: I'm fine Abby how are you?
Abby: No I'm Prince.
Me: Oops I forgot. Hi Prince, how are you?
Abby: I'm good.
Me: Where's Cinderella? At the palace?
Abby: No, she's dead.