friday flashback - missing ricky

I took this picture of Ricky when I was about 17 or 18. I was taking photography that semester and I clicked this with the Pentax MG SLR my Grandpa had given me on permanent loan. It was one of the ones I ended up picking to be part of my final project. I can't remember the mark I got on the assignment or in the class and it doesn't matter because this is one of my most favourite pictures. Ricky always enjoyed mugging for the camera so it wasn't always easy to get a "nice" picture of him. To me this picture is really Ricky. He looks relaxed, happy and content. A few years ago I finally got around to framing it and ever since it's sat in our living room grouped with some framed pictures of the girls.

It hurts my heart when I think of the important people who are gone from my life that never got the opportunity to meet these beautiful girls of mine. My Dad, my grandparents and Ricky. I do my best share my memories of them with Abby and Maya. Maya's still a little young, but Abby seems to have developed quite a connection with those she's never met. She quite often talks about "her Uncle" Ricky which always causes the tears to well up in my eyes. I can only imagine how much they would have enjoyed each other's company.

Something we are not short on in this house is stickers and Barbies, but that's a story for another time. Easter, Christmas, Birthdays and sometimes just because it's Tuesday somebody is always giving my kids stickers. The other day I happened to notice one of the Valentine's stickers had made it's way onto Ricky's picture. Placed there by Abby against the edge of the frame the heart shaped sticker reads, missing your smile. I asked her, with tears in my eyes and a lump the size of Texas in my throat why she'd stuck a sticker on Ricky's picture. She answered. "because I like Uncle Ricky. He's always smiling at me from the picture." And for the eleventy billionth time since my motherhood journey began, my heart exploded.