Thursday, February 06, 2014

oh my gosh

I'm not about to name names here, but it happened. Somebody in this house was embarrassed to have been shown affection by another member of the family while out in public. The horror. The absolute horror. Now my first instinct was to bow to the wishes of the offended party and call an immediate cease and desist order on any type of P.D.A. It may have been a hundred years ago, but I was that age once myself and I get it. You're trying to be all cool in front of your friends and someone comes along and totally trashes your street cred. Not that I think they hand out much street cred here in the sticks, but whatever.

The more I thought about it though, the more that didn't sit right with me. So instead we had a little chat about family. I explained that she should never be embarrassed by having people in her life who not only love her, but wanted to take the time to show her they love her. That family is a gift that, unfortunately, not everyone is able to claim. I told her I understood that the full value of what she is experiencing wouldn't be entirely apparent to her until she was older and we talked about the losses I've experienced that have shaped my feelings on this subject. She had some great follow up questions and the conversation morphed into tales of those important people who are now lost to me.

I'm not going to lie, I was pretty impassioned about it and I feel she was understanding what I was saying.... as much as she could. I say that as a person who's dealt with the loss of family vs a person who really hasn't yet (and who, I hope doesn't have to for many years to come).

How are you dealing with the "oh my gosh my family is so embarrassing" stage?


Lynn said...

Thank heaven we haven't hit this stage yet - almost all the other preteen behaviour is there but even my oldest, at nearly 11, wants a hug when I drop him off and runs over to hug me at pickup. HUGS FOREVER, I say :).

Betsy said...

We aren't there yet either. I don't even know how I would react. Probably cry. Hugs to you!!

Bibliomama said...

Shame on you, ruining her woodland trail cred!
Yeah, that's a tough one. I'd try to hit a middle road - no, I will not pretend I don't exist so you can look more cool, but I also won't infantilize you in front of your friends. That's for my son, of course - my daughter still hugs and kisses me at every opportunity, although we've had to cut down in the van because we keep getting lip shocks, which is quite painful.