dear maya

Nine years old today and you wanted to celebrate it in true Maya fashion, surrounded by the people you love the most. All the grandparents came for dinner, but if we had the room you would have packed the house with all the people you hold close to your heart. Even still it was your perfect evening and I think the ear to ear grin you wore all night said it all.



We ate your favourite things and told funny stories and we laughed until our stomachs ached. Nothing is more important to you than family. You've got that life lesson locked down. Dinner with family, cards, board games, movies... anything that has us together is alright by you. You've really settled into yourself this past year. You're more open and easy going. You're building relationships independent of the rest of the family. It is such a beautiful thing to see I can't even articulate it.



You still love everything about school, the work, the reading, the art, the teachers, and the other kids. You can't get enough of the Frozen movie or lego or hanging out with Abby. The house is littered with your stories and drawings. You love to be creative. You still claim cleaning is not your thing, much to your sister's exasperation. You are witty and quick with a come back. You've learned well young grasshopper. It's taken us a while to get here, but everything with you has just gotten easier and it feels like a weight has been lifted off us and it's the best feeling ever. I am so incredibly lucky that I get to be your Mom. Love you to the moon and back MyPie xo

Love Mama

dear maya

Dear Maya;

Oh my sweet little riddle. You have challenged me as a Mom since the day you were born, but I honestly wouldn't have you any other way. Sure some times (and by some times I mean most of the time) you like to take the long way around, but we always get there in the end. Maybe a little bit more exhausted and sometimes a bit more worse for wear, but we make it and I'll take it all because with is comes that giant heart of yours. My gosh it's so big and so full of love. I feel like I have a lot of love in me to give to the important people in my life, but you honestly give me something to aspire to.



Things like family movie night or game night are the gold standard with you. I've actually watched you slow play a game, putting off your inevitable win just to keep the fun going a little bit longer. Nothing is better to you then curling up on the couch with some fresh popped popcorn and a movie borrowed from the library and the rest of us curled up with you. We just had a birthday weekend full of presents and cake and your favourite part was having Uncle Dave, Auntie Mel and the World's Cutest Nephew here even if it was only for 24 hours.



You are loyal and fair. While the rest of the family trash talks and teases, you make sure to point out the very good things in people. You are Switzerland, incapable of picking one thing over another in case someone's feelings are hurt. During the fun and friendly pancake cook off between Granny and Poppa you loyally awarded them a tie, both rounds. And the two very adorable babies you love so much, you make sure you express how equally adorable you find them. You may only be looking at a picture of one of them, but the other will not go unmentioned.



You are my book worm. Happy to curl up in the crook of my legs as we both lose ourselves in stories. You've already finished two books on the brand new Kobo mini you got this morning. You love movies, board games, your rainbow loom, One Direction, Pitch Perfect, your popcorn maker, puzzles, burgers, pizza and fried chicken. You love going to school and chocolate croissants. You think Abby is the greatest thing since sliced bread... when she isn't annoying you, but mostly you just want to do whatever she's doing. Posters of R5, Harry Potter and Selena Gomez line your room. You like to play conversation games during dinner..... Who is your favourite Disney Princess? Who do you like better, Katy Perry or Selena Gomez? and so on.You are proud of us and encourage us in everything we do. And you worry. We're still trying to sort out if these worries are maybe too big for you, but for now just taking the time to be sensitive to you and allowing time to talk things out seems to be helping.You are just the sweet sensitive little girl we needed to finish up this family. I am so lucky that I get to be your Mom!

Happy 8th birthday MyPie. I love you to absolute bits!
Mama xo

dear maya

Dear Maya

Well it finally happened, you're seven even though I swore I was going to cancel your birthday so you could stay six forever. Mom, you patiently explained to me each and every time, I have to get older. You can't cancel my birthday. As much as it pains my heart for my little girls to grow up there is a small part of me that does truly love watching you grow into the lovely little person you are becoming. Each year everything gets a little bit easier and that makes me ridiculously happy for both of us.



I watch you and see that you struggle with a lot of the same issues. So I give you a wide berth and let you know it's ok if you get to the birthday party and you just can't stay. You constantly surprise us though. This past Christmas after seeing Abby light the Advent candle at church you went to our minister and said hey! I want to do that too! On the Sunday it was your turn our Minister beckoned you to sit with him at the front and off you went on your own to sit beside him and smile out at the rest of the congregation. Then we have choir, you are a lovely and active participant at practice, but there is still no getting you up to sing with the rest of the kids on Sunday morning. You are a riddle indeed.



You love love love school. You borrow stacks of books between the library at school and our public one. You have all sorts of homework books to supplement the homework you have from school because you just love doing it. You are a thinker, a puzzler and you're quick on your feet. We gave you bedtime passes for your birthday, they allow you to stay up ten minutes past your bedtime. We told you that you couldn't use all six coupons at once and so you gave me two. "Here, you said I couldn't use all of them, but you didn't say I couldn't use two of them." So you're already smarter than me. Yikes!



You also love love love all of us. Every single night when I tuck you into bed the last thing you say as I leave  your room is tell Abby and Daddy good night and I love them. It makes me smile every time. After much discussion about the birthday cake you finally requested a rectangle cake that was half white and half chocolate because some people didn't like chocolate cake. You said I could put sprinkles on half of it because even though you dislike sprinkles some people really like them so that seemed fair. You wanted peanut butter frosting with one piece that was light blue because that is Abby's favourite colour but the rest could be pink. That was a big deal too because prior to this birthday cake you would not put up with coloured frosting. And finally I could decorate it however I wanted because I love decorating cakes. Pretty sweet instructions I thought, but so true to you. That love extends to all the amazing grandparents, the aunts and the uncles, the cousins and our fantastic friends. I think you've really figured out that love and family are the very most important things. Your favourite part about Christmas, you told me, was having Uncle Dave and Auntie Mel here for a couple of days. So maybe we're doing something a little bit right.



Six was great fun and I am sorry to say good bye to it, but seven looks like it's going to be pretty amazing too. Can't wait to see what it brings us.

I love you my baby girl, to the moon and back!
Mama xo

dear maya

Dear Maya;

Some how I always manage to be surprised when January rolls around and I'm faced with the realization that you are another year older. At times I have a hard time believing you are six already. It seems like you have only been here a minute yet at the same time you've been here forever. I can't even imagine what we ever did before you showed up to make this family complete





You are still determined to take the long way around. Not long ago we had you at the hospital getting you checked out after a tumble at school. That happens a fair bit, actually. Well not the hospital bit, but the tumbles. We average one "oops note" a week from school. Oops Maya tripped and bumped her knee. Oops Maya bumped her head on her hook and so on. I think you get that klutzy bit from you Dad. This particular tumble those was bigger than an "oops note", it was more an oops we think she may have broken her hand sort of situation. It was as we sat there waiting to see the doctor that I first realized your lisp was gone. That cute little adorable lisp had just disappeared. I remembered that the speech therapist had said it could take until you turned six to master the 's' sound and in typical Maya fashion you took it right to the limit.





Oh MyPie, you continue to be a riddle. I was overwhelmed to the point of tears to see you up on stage performing in the Christmas pageant at church and you were so incredibly proud of yourself. You told me that you loved being in the show and yet you still refuse to sing with the kids at church. You are the Queen of practicing though. Every Sunday when they call for the junior choir I ask if you would like to go up and every Sunday you shake you head and say no, thank you, I'm still too shy. You leap into Auntie Mel's arms when you see her, but you continue to make Uncle Dave work for your attention. You are excelling at school, but the day Dad and I were there you had a hard time getting through the morning routine because you were suddenly too shy.





And school, my gosh you love school. You cannot wait to get to grade one so you can go every day. Your first day back after Christmas break you unpacked your backpack of all the kindergarten stuff convinced you were starting grade one. It was a new year after all. You were heartbroken to learn you have six more months of kindergarten to go. You love to read and to be read to. This past week you brought a reading award home, 53 books since the beginning of the school year.





You love being with family. Love quiet nights at home playing boards games or watching movies. Love sleep overs with the grandparents. You have an endless supply of hugs and kisses. Blankey is still your best friend. You continue to be a picky eater. Whenever you are ready to outgrow that little bit of fun is just fine with me. You've started eating cheddar cheese, but how chicken nuggets appear to be off the list. You still love to crawl into my lap for a snuggle and you hero worship your sister. Not that you guys don't have your spats because you do and you can hold your own. I can't wait to see what six will bring us.

I love you baby girl, to the moon and back.
Mama xo

dear maya

Dear Maya;

This week, my sweet baby girl, you turned five. And I think I'm going to like five very much. Since you started school I've watched you become more comfortable in your own skin, more confident and that, in a word, is awesome. Sure we still have moments when you need to hide in my skirts, but these days it doesn't always have to be Mommy's skirts. Last night as the entire extended family started to sing happy birthday you went to Grandma Linda for a snuggle when it got to be overwhelming. You are getting better, but still aren't 100% fond of a lot of attention being thrown your way. So when it comes time to sing at church it's only about 85% of the time you're actually willing to join the rest of the kids up front. I'm not even going to complain about that because for you 85% is stupendous.

I said to another Mom not long ago that you test me every day, not in the sense that you're testing my limits, but rather you test me as a Mom. The way I parent you today, may not work for you tomorrow. Sometimes you need me to be tough and other days you need some extra snuggles. Some days you are a little extra emotional and other days you are as tough as nails. You still hero worship your big sister, but aren't so willing to be pushed around these days. Case in point, the other night when you told her to "shut her pie hole". I'm not quite sure who was more surprised about that one - your sister or me. Of course when Abby told you that the restaurant you wanted to go to for your birthday was closed you bought it, hook, line and sinker. She told you that because Burger King is currently giving away spongebob toys and that seemed like a better deal to Abby than mini ice cream cones at Marios.

You are the sweetest like girl with the biggest heart and so much love for the ones that are your nearest and dearest. You have hugs for everyone and a knack for remembering the important things about people. You love choir practice and swimming lessons and watching Abby do just about everything, even more so when Abby doesn't want you to. You are incredibly charming and you know exactly when yo turn it on. You can melt me with just a look and I can only hope it's a skill you'll only use for good.

You love pretty much everything about school and you've settled in just as I expected you to. You love to do your homework each week, finding pictures in magazines that start with your letter of the week. Then there is printing, you love to print and are always asking Dad and I how to special different words in addition to your stable of the dozen or so you can spell on your own. It's been great fun to watch you grow and learn at school. I am so looking forward to your observation day and first report card.

It's hard to believe you're five, Dad says it seems like you've been here ten years or more. Time is just speeding by and, at the same time, standing still. I love you so very much and am so very thankful for every single minute with you.

Happy birthday monkey.
Love Mama xo

dear maya

Well today is the big day... you turned four today. Something you are incredibly excited about. I think you know that four means big things. That four means school and a whole new world that will be separate from me. I'm hoping we both manage to adjust to that without too many hiccups. You see, we had a shaky start, you and I. Well, you and everybody, to be fair. I am not the only one who was and continues to be affected by your early days in NICU when you just couldn't figure out that you needed to do that breathing thing all the time. And nobody could figure out why you couldn't/wouldn't do it. I'd just like to say - thanks for finally mastering that little life skill.

But while you were figuring it all out, you were scaring the crap out of me (all of us actually) and when the smoke cleared I was a different kind of Mom then I was before you were born. We've spent the past four years in each other's pocket. "Only Mommy Will Do" - that has been your personal motto. With school looming on the horizon I've been pushing you to be a little bit more independent which is working out pretty great. You love to get yourself dressed and pick out your own clothes. I mean maybe capris in January isn't the best idea, but we'll work on it. We hear lots of... no Mommy, I can do it... these days. I have to remember to leave you some extra time to tackle tasks like zippers and mittens yourself.

You continue to be enamoured with your big sister. More than one evening has been spent with you chasing Abby around the house trying to get just one more hug. You want to have a sleepover every night, but you hog the bed and the covers and you take forever to fall alseep, so Abby just rolls her eyes and asks if she can just sleep by herself and you always agree with the biggest smile for her because whatever Abby wants is just fine with you. Unless of course we're talking about the Wii or Barbies or Polly Pockets or Little Pets or blocks. It can be a struggle when it comes to taking turns or sharing, but it's nothing too out of control. You really are such a sweet and considerate girl. You make my heart melt a million times over.

You're really coming out of your shell around people. Sometimes if there's a lot of new people you take a while to warm up, but once you get going you can hold your own. You love giving hugs and hand them out pretty freely. That's a long way from the girl who refused to even make eye contact anyone who wasn't Daddy, Abby or I. This is all good news, I'm sure, to the bride who's asked you to be a flower girl in her wedding next fall. We have a letter from her that outlines what you'll have to do that day and you are so excited every time I read it to you.

I am so looking forward to exploring four with you. It almost seems like a the newborn stage all over again. So much to discover. I can't wait to see what four will bring us.

Love you, Baby Girl.
Mama
xo

dear maya

Dear Maya

Today you turn three. Which is hard to believe. It can't be just three short years you've been helping make up the center of my life. You're tiny, my Little My Pie, but at the same time everything about you is big. Your emotions, your love, your temper, your ideas. All big.

There seems to be this definite noticeable shift with you. All of the sudden you're taller. I can tell by your short pants. Your posture, your mannerisms all scream that you are no longer a toddler, but a pre-schooler. Even if it will be two more years before you begin school thanks to having your birthday at the beginning of the year.

School will be an interesting experience with you. One I am both looking forward to and dreading just a little bit. Abby, I always knew, was ready for school. I knew that she was going to love school. You, I am not so sure about, but I don't think the issue will be your ability.

You're one smart little cookie. You've been able to identify numbers one through ten for six months or more. This past week you've turned your attention to the alphabet and are now able to recognize most of the letters. It boggles my mind that you've apparently taught yourself this skill. You love to do puzzles and manage to put even brand new ones together in no time. What's interesting when you put a puzzle toegther is there is very little fumbling. You know which piece you need next and discard the others with a firm no as you set it aside.

What I do worry about is how you will handle the structure. The sitting quietly on the carpet, waiting your turn, lining up, having your day broken into pre-determined sections. You like things by your terms or what I let you believe are your terms. I wonder if you'll be the kid that Miss Kindergarten Teacher has to put at the front of the group so you're always within arms reach to keep you focused. Then again you could surprise me. You usually do.

For all my complaining about your temper and the temper tantrums and the battles I wage with you almost daily on a myriad of things you truly are the sweetest child. You have so much love you give so freely to your Dad, Abby and I. You demand Abby hug you when she gets home from school or after any separation. You request kisses from Daddy using your little finger to point out the exact spot he needs to put them. This past weekend as you watched me decorate your birthday cake with your beloved Rocket you told me I was awesome. You know just the right moment to snake those little arms around me neck and whisper in my ear, I wub you Mama. You never fail to say God bless you if you hear one of us sneeze. Even if we happen to be in different rooms. Or ask if we're okay after a cough.

Of course you can also go from zero to pouting in record time. One's never sure what will set it off, but it could be something as simple as a "new" face at the dinner table. Change is a hard thing for you. You're still wearing a winter hat that used to be Abby's before you came along and Lord help the person that tries to put one of the half a dozen new ones you got this winter on you. You have been known to attempt to yank off a new outfit and have gone to the sitter in your jammies because the getting you dressed just wasn't worth the fight at that time of the morning. Luckily once we get you past that initial hump you usually do okay, but boy getting there can be a real drag on your poor Mommy's patience. I used to think I had a lot of it, but you can go through it all pretty quick some days. It's been an amazing journey, these past three years with you. I cannot wait to see what experiences three will bring to us.

I love you
Mommy xo

dear maya

Just this past weekend we celebrated your second birthday. It hardly seems possible that you're two already. You're still my baby. My little Doodle Bug. Sometimes I sit and look at you and your sister and wonder what I ever did with my life before you both were in it. I hope I always let you know what a gift you both are to your Dad and I.

These past two years with you, Maya, have challenged me in so many ways. You pushed me to my sleep deprivation limit. I can honestly tell you I almost wept tears of joy that morning three months or so ago that I woke up to find you'd slept through the entire night. We've been going through a little bit of sleep regression this week, but I'm confident that it's just a developmental thing and you'll be back on track soon.

You tested my ability to wait. So much of the last two years have been spent waiting for you. Waiting for you to make your appearance in the world. Waiting for you to be healthy enough to come out of the hospital. Waiting for you to finally sleep at night consistently. Waiting for you to talk. In the last month your vocabulary has exploded and Dad and I are finding you talking in the most adorable little sentences. A lot of little sentences. It's non-stop little sentences around here. Tonight you sat on my lap asking "what you doin'?" twenty times in a row. I guess you're making up for lost time.

You've tested my patience with your temper and the tantrums and the hitting and the stubbornness. It's probably safe to say you get that from me. Your Uncle Dave could tell you stories about Mommy's temper when she was younger, but I'm going to hope that he doesn't. To your credit, or maybe to mine since I think manners are so important, you do always apologize afterwards. And Abby, who's most often your target, is always good natured enough to accept it. A lot of your temper comes from frustration. You can't understand why you can't do all the things Abby does, like drink out of a regular cup or play with the Polly Pockets or a million other things that aren't age appropriate for you.

You're challenging my ability to let go. Now that you're two, according to the "experts" it's time we did away with your bottle, crib, suckie and time to get working on that toilet training. Quite honestly, I don't think you're ready for any of it. You still seem too small and too young to me and it's probably likely that it's really me that's not ready. Although lately you've been trying to claim Abby's room and her big girl bed as your own. Your Dad and I have been talking about trading your crib in for a toddler bed, but just the thought makes me break out in hives. Surprisingly, you've yet to figure out how to climb out of your crib, so I see no reason to rush the process.

I, jokingly, say to people that you are work and you are, but you're supposed to be. If I'm doing this mommy thing right. I wouldn't trade one second of time with you or your sister for anything. You've made me a better person. Happy birthday Doodle Bug, I love you!

Mommy XO

the little one

Dear Maya

Today you are eighteen months old. For a year in a half you've been occupying the tiny bedroom at the top of the stairs. The one with the green paint that I picked out for your sister five years ago. The one with the baby animal border that you seem determined to strip right off the walls. Luckily it's a re-useable border so every morning I smooth it back against the wall and wonder if you're trying to tell me it's time to redecorate. Maybe it's time for a colour that was picked just for Maya.

To date you are still refusing to use the sign language that I, stubbornly, keep trying to teach you, but your verbal skills have really exploded in the last month. The days of you toddling around the house in search of Ahm are gone, replaced by the very precise AB-BEE which you say almost as if it's two words and always multiple times. Once just isn't enough. I think it's safe to say Abby is your second on your list of favourites. Now while the obvious choice for first would be me, your mother, especially after the many many sleepless nights we've spent together watching multiple TV series on DVD, it would, surprisingly enough, be the wrong choice. Daddy has been getting top billing around here. Case in point, yesterday you made a beeline for me when we picked you up from the sitter's. You were borderline hysterical, this weird place some where between maniacal laughter and tears of joy (your sister used to do the exact same thing) and trucking down the drive way as fast as you could with your lurching Frankenstein-esque walk until Dad got out of the van a moment after I did and in that instance you changed your trajectory and veered off into Daddy's waiting arms without a backward glance for me. Tonight for dinner you ate exactly two bites of toast and spent the rest of the meal chanting Daddy Daddy Daddy with your arms up in the air waiting for him to pick you up. I have to admit being fourth in line, after Dad, Abby and the cat is somewhat of a new experience for me.

Aww the cat. Oh how you love that cat and luckily Zebby has the perfect temperament for you. Barely raising an eye brow or a paw as you manhandle the poor thing. Although I have to tell you we've really had enough, Zebby included, of you making cat food soup in the water bowl every stinking day. Although I guess that's better than you eating it, but then, on the other hand, at least you would be eating something.

I mean I get it you're a toddler and you have a "whatever" attitude about food. Some days it's way more fun to mush it through your fingers and throw it on the floor than to actually ingest it. I get that, but these up in the middle of the night so hungry you drink two whole bottles in 20 minutes is really getting old. Daddy is more than a little tired of having to get up and get you a bottle at two in the morning. I send him because he's your favourite and, well, there's certain perks that go along with that. It would also be nice if we could figure out what exactly you like to eat. Some days it's baby food, some days our food, some days both and some days neither. The most important thing to remember is it will never be the same thing two days in a row. Ever.

A toddler. Most of the time I let it slip my mind that you are a toddler, preferring to call you "the baby", my baby, instead. I forget that it's time to stop measuring your age in months. That you're getting to be a big girl. That you have opinions, like which shoes you'd like to wear. And feelings, like when you have a temper tantrum when I suggest a pair of your own shoes would be better than say wearing a pair of mine. That you have wants and you can express them even if it takes several minutes for us to get on the same page. Pointing and repeating me me me, isn't always the best descriptor.

This has been a big month, with lots of changes. You've officially crossed that baby threshold. Something that I find both exciting, as I watch you tackle all these new developmental milestones and heart breaking because you are my last journey here. The "baby-boat" has sailed.

I love you.
Mom XO
July 2007

Dear Maya

Well my grinning little chatter box, today you are 17 months old. I'm not quite sure how it's possible that you've been here this long, but when I think of all those sleepless nights you and I have shared it seems a million times longer.

I know they say you shouldn't, but it's hard not to catalogue all the ways you and your sister are different. I do this the most when you're wearing one of Abby's outfits. Your build is so much different than Abby's was at the same age. What were capris on Abby are just simply pants on you. Thank Daddy for that short inseam.

In typical second child fashion you've been slow to talk. Not that you haven't had a lot to say, just none of us can understand it, but you say it so seriously that I really wish I could. All that appears to be changing though, in the last few days your vocabulary has been growing. You can now say thank you and at appropriate times too, although it does sound more like tank too, but we'll take it. You've got Mommy and Daddy nailed down, but Abby continues to be Ahm. You do call for Papa, but most of the time you don't like him to get too close. That's largely my fault, I think. I've been a different mother with you than I was with Abby so in some ways you're not as independent as Abby was. I think your rocky start to the world and those countless sleepless nights really bonded us together in a way I wasn't expecting.

As much as it has been and can be "all Mommy, all the time" you are starting to becoming a bit of a Daddy's girl. I've been noticing that in the last few weeks it's Daddy you go toddling to first when we get home from work. Or even if you come to me first you have your arms out for Daddy not long after. You have also really been enjoying having the cat here and "kitty" is another new word that we hear a lot. We've been lucky with Zebby because you really manhandle her and she just lets you. Which isn't to say you haven't come away without your share of scratches, but they've been less than minor.

I think you've finally gotten this whole sleeping thing figured out. Touch wood. As much as I love that grin of yours I really don't need to see it at two in the morning multiple times a week. One thing I am thankful for is you go to sleep like a charm. Just put you in your crib and that's it and you're a happy baby from the minute your eyes pop open in the morning. That kind of makes up for the middle of the night stuff.

And of course those soggy open mouth kisses you give make up for everything.

I love you.
Mom XO